Dont piss into the wind - SRF experience

Changing names

2011-12-28T17:14:00.000-08:00

Many people at SRF and other similar cults change names. They are asked to change names because of the negativity in their family name. It will give them a new engergy to have a new name. Most of those who are asked to change names, are ministers that have been with the cult for a long time. It is not a thing that are asked or demanded when you are new in the cult.
The family I stayed with also changed names, I think they have changed names several times. One of the reasons to change names can be all the troubles they have caused to others during their non religious, religious journey. They are not easy to find, if you try to look for them.
Also the cults have several different names. After some time in the cult you know that. To people that have relatives in the cult it is confusing of course, and that is one of the reasons they have several names for their cult, most cults do like this. Some cults have like about 18 different names for their cult. The Moonie cult is one of those cults that have many different names too. They also make arranged weddings for peopel from Corea to come to the U.S. to marry someone so the can stay and make more money for the cult.
I guess that people can hide out from their relatives for many years with a different name. Also the cults that are big and have several different compounds can hide their members. Some cults have compounds in other countries that have different laws as well. I know that Michael Anast had a student that opened a school for healing and meditation here in Sweden and that he came here with some of his other studens or wifes to give lecturers. By the way, his name is not Michal Anast any more . So they are developing. Here in this country laws are very different, the law is not so much in favor to private people, even though it has changed a lot lately since the socialists have lost power. Ha ha ha.
Energy focus, witch is the name of the Swedish branch, have got more and more members all over this country. Many people are involved with new age, but I think people also start to realize all the evil there is in it. I used to work in a resort that held a lot of different classes, a lot of them in new age stuff. I know some of the healers there also went to give lecturers at Energy focus. For ten years on and off I worked there in the kitchen or taking care of bed and breakfast. I was never paid well, most of the workers there was not. The owner also had a half way house and some of her new staff was so wicked. I did complain, but the boss, the woman that owned that place just got pissed off at me. I quit working there and after some time I heard that one of her staff had raped a girl at the half way house.
I have left new age, and I dont want to be dragged into any of that evil stuff again. Its a mixture of knowledge from different asian religions and wichcraft, that the leaders use to get people involved their cult.

Naive

2011-12-04T18:00:00.000-08:00

It was naive to think that one could get well in such an enviroment that SRF had to offer. There was of course a lot of things that was good, to start with like in all cults. The family I stayed with eate very healthy food for instance. But smoking tobacco was also part of the routine. There is no possibility to heal one self around people that smoke and I got more and more ill. The leaders at that time very much wanted to get rid of Michael Anast, and the psychic explanation was that the reason for my pains at that time was because of Michael, he was a controlling spirit that caused people to have problem with their third chakra. As those that have studied meditation knows that the tird chakra is in the middle of ones stomach. Problem with the third chakra causes stomach ace. There I was and could not do anything about it. The true reason came from the one person who mentioned the cause, the person who was smoking. Me myself was naive and thought that I would be able to quit smoking as soon as I left Sweden. My fathers woman used to smoke a lot everywhere and I used to be sick from it, but then after some years, when they went on vacation and I was alone, I started to miss the tobacco. Tobacco can make people dependent by contact, and I started to smoke. When I left Sweden I had been smoking tobacco for about a year, so to me it seemed like something that would be easy to quit as soon as I got away from home. I never knew that tobacco was so poisening, it contains about 6000 different poisions. A person that smokes should be in a mental ward in my opinion. It is super destructive. Now it is like this, as in this SRF some of the leaders smoked also rev. Bill smoked heavily. Rev. Bill even talked about the good sides of smoking as I have had explained to me by another member. According to Bill, smoking should be very grounding, and everybody wanted to be grounded. If you had problems with your healt, grouning would also be and easy method to get rid of problems with your healt and forign energies that might get your chakras stuck.
Well, It is good I was not the best of students, and I did not get stuck in the teaching for long, I most certinly would not have been around on this planet if I had. But some of the teachings have changed my life for ever, it has taken a lot from my life. It has hurt my healt a loot, of course, like for many other people that went there, hoping to get and to be able to heal themselves.
I think that in the U.S people are creative, even the crooks are creative. I came to think about dr. Atkins who has killed so many people with his bogus diet. How on earth do you put with going five or six years to university, just to come up with a diet like that? Is it not easier to just rob a bank ?, at least it is more humane. There are many scams there.
Here where I live the socitety is different, we had socialism and creativity is not so big. On the other hand, living in a socialist country is like living in a cult. It is a little bit like being a Jehovas witness, but being totally unhealty. Know we dont have socialism any longer, but many want it back, and European politics is so instable.

11 September

2011-09-11T10:35:00.000-07:00

It is already ten years ago it happend. I have been watching the news today. Sweden lost one person in the World trade center. Then I have heard different peoples opinions also a lot about what happend.
Any way, this is a pice of work from a cult called al quida. It was members of Al-guida that flew those planes into world trade center, Pennsylvania and pentagon. This infatuation was due to a cult, people that had a stong belife in god, but had been manipulated by leaders that used the Koran.
People that join Al-quida are victims of the cult. It is mostly poor young men that have no future. Al-quida takes care of them and "educate" them. Usually they are grateful to the cult, that offers them a place to be, to sleep , eat and give them shelter and education. Now after several years they are ready to leav. They form cells, without connection to the Cult, they can operate on their own, or mabye on orders from the head quarter.
What happend on September 11, 2001 is awful and very sad. It is however similar to terror that other religous groups have done.
Ater Sept 11 things have changed a lot in the world. Security is very different in the U.S and in Europe too. I wish though that the U.S would deal with all those demonational churches and cults that have their headquarters in the U.S as most cults starts in the U.S. The cults we have here in Europe are mostly branches from the U.S. Of course there are other cults as well in other countries. But even a lot of countries have put their headquaters in the U.S. because of the benefit of the laws. I like a free country, but I dont want us to misunderstand freedom. To be a member of a cult is not to be free. Certinly if they gouvernment of the United States made an analyze of the law, they would be able to change some of it, I am certin. This would of course be to a benefit for all those people that are effected by those cults. Someone told me that in the U.S 80% of the people are members of cults. I hope and think that that is not true. I belive mabye it was from a protestant point of wiev. In Sweden they even look at the Catholic church as a cult. In my opionion thats insane. Anyway a change would be beneficial for the future, to stop more tradgedies. As for Al-quida I dont know what to say, I just hope that that cult will vanish.

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the thingsI cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can, and thewisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.
Taking, as He did,this sinful world as it is,not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will makeall things right if Isurrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.
Amen

Prayor by Reinhold Niebuhr

Sweden too

2011-09-10T11:44:00.000-07:00

I just saw this article and unfortunately I must say, that I have to agree a lot to what the article says.
I agree a lot that my Country was very controlled earlier and when I came home from the U.S I was so said, because of the way everything was here in Sweden. I think that my country has been quite a lot like a cult. I just dont understand that I did not become so brainwashed as most people are in my country.
Actually some stuff has been reviled lately in tv. Tv programs for children, preschool and in many other places, we where brainwashed as children. I remember the way we where brainwashed in School. As a teen ager I lived in an area where I had the oporturnity to practice my own thinking and I read a loot of books and made up my own mind. This is why I am not a socialist or communist like many others in my country. This is also one of the reasons I went to the U.S. and why I have had so much troubles in my own country.
Have a nice reading http://www.illuminati-news.com/swedish-model.htm

This is also why rev. Bill could never control me 100%, I was used to this and I was used to be defiant to anyone trying to control me. Still the cult did a lot of harm to me, of course, like it did to others. It is not right to live in those manners.

Mind control behind massacre in Norway

2011-08-04T19:02:00.000-07:00

I just came across this webbsite http://www.redicecreations.com/radio/2011/08/RIR-110804.php. And listen to it.
I have not commented this tradgedy, because I always like to wait to get more information of what is behind, before making up my mind. Of course people started to make up stories right away, like people do. That does not mean that I dont care, it just means that I dont like hasty conclutions. It reminds me a lot of the Oklahoma bomber, Timothy mc Veigh. I am quite sure of that it is always a lot behind something like this, though some people like to belive that some one just freaked out, from having had broken toys as a child. Many children grew up in powerty or have had a bad situtations as a child, but did not do something like Breivik or Mc Veigh.
The trouth is ther is a lot of mindcontroll going on. New age and religious groups use them. I bet that political groups use them also, why not.
Here is another article in english about the trauma that Norway exprienced http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/07/30/norway-suspect-other-targets_n_914124.html

Making the cult important

2011-07-24T09:33:00.000-07:00

I remember how they would trance and teach over and over again how older people where not suited to do meditation or healing. They simply had a weaker aura and weaker spirit. Earlier generations did not have an aura that where worth anything. So actually it was just the younger generation that was something to care about. We would have more in common with people around us and especially people that where members at the academy, since they where extra spiritual aware and developing. Still we where not to disturb them.
This is they way they brainwash us. This is the way also that we loose our identity, we start to forget our own roots, since we learn that they are not important. We see ourselvs as part of the cult instead as part of our ancestors. Not only do they take away our language, and replace it with cult language that others wont understand. Crooks used to have slang language. They would also split families of course as I have already mentioned. This is way a cult is so destructive to those involved.
Also when the cult leaders have taken everyting away from you, he fills it with whatever nonsence he likes. He will use you in all kinds of ways he can, for his purposes. In SRF it was mostly for money that they used people. Since cults are small and new religious groups the can very easily change. They can become violent or commit group suicide. like in "Heavens gate" or some other cults that force them to drink their cool aide.
If the cult become violent cult members can attack society in different ways, like the Aum cult did in Tokyo´s subway or like some of those suicide bombers do in Al-quida. Al-quida is a cult within Islam and has actually not more to do with Islam then does Timothy Mc Veigh to Christianity.
Anyway for those that think well of the spiritual cults, yes, they are nice in the beginning, it is called "love bombing" and is what all cults do. If you are Christian, remember that the devil also know how to read the bible. And also rember that Jesus said to forgive not to split up. As I remeber the SRF wanted us to get angry att people around us but to stay in our space and not to throw our anger around. But the bible says not to be angry, then you do better.
Spiritualistic teachings are all from one source, and that is not from Christianity. Spiritual teachings are almost all of them from one source, they are from an old celtic cult. These cults pic up somethings here and somethings there to add to the spiritual teachings.
I would say that it is a lot better, easier and nicer to become an engineer than to take a year programme. What are you going to do with your ministers scam diploma? Is that what you want to put your valuble time into. As far as we know for sure, we just have one life to live. Do you want to waste that time year after year in that fake teaching? As a minister, will you be able to support yourself alone later? I dont think so, a few do, they open up their own churches and scam new stupid young people to make theri lousy living. What a pride you will be to your country! Or am I right, you dont care? Do you think you are doing something important? What about becomming an paramedic and work nightshift in an ambulance, then you are doing somthing important, instead of paing SRF to sit on a chair to meditate all night trying to see a ghost spririt or something. Of course they want young people too. All places that just want young people, cults or companies, is because they need naive people that they can use for their cheap purposes.
Grow up! Leave those cults!

Roxette again

2011-06-14T22:22:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktRsl2hAPhY

Healing guides

2011-03-31T22:06:00.000-07:00

In healing we learned about our healing guides. These are our spiritual guides that are our helpers and we can use them to heal with. The guides are higher standing beings. Everyone have these guides around them. We just have to go into meditation and find them. We put up a seperation rose and ground ourselves and then we ask our healing guides to come up tree steps behind us. There are a lot of different beings and spirits around us all the time, but we are not prepered to see them. We can learn how to see them trough training. Some people are really psychic some are not. Some people destroy the energy in the clairvoyant school, like I did. Some people can never have the teaching, they are not spiritual enough ( usually high educated people). People that can try to stop you from living a wounderful spiritual life growing and developing spiritually, are your parents and close relations. A spiritual life is the best you can get, far from an ordinary life, but you will not know, until one day you are in a much higher energy level, after many years training. You will ask yourself, -What have I done to my life? And you wont belive it! Sit down enjoy to meditate, se your psychic gifts. Some people are so gifted. I remeber that after some healing classes and after becoming broke, there was not much of spiritual gifts in me any more. That much for spirituallity. Any way, have a look at the film below, about a family that lost their son in a similar cult. Doing angel healing. I remember that they people I worked for opened up a school of their own and they did something like this, angelhealing. Yes I have taken one of those classes and initially they are wounderful. But then what happends? Do you loose your fear of death? Mabye you get more and more curious about the light in the tunnel, after all, the body is just the house of the spirit. Mabye loosing ones life is like climbing out of that car wich is your body where your soul sits in. Everything is just engergy. I was encouraged to end my life at the last days i spent in this cult. Mabye this is what happend to the guy in the film below too.

Cult - Member Suicides After Leaving

2011-03-31T22:02:00.000-07:00

Here is the link to this cult http://www.enneagram-uk.com/index.php wich also is the similar kind as SRF and Spritual rights freedom. These cults have their root in Golden Down obviously wich was one of the first cults in Great Britain. This is a spiritistik cult, obviously. I just wounder, is it ok to think only positively? Dont you loose your contact of reality? Things are not always great and one need do some critical analyzation sometimes, but here you learn not to, so convenient in a cult that wants to use you!

Mentally fuked up

2011-03-23T22:29:00.000-07:00

If you join a cult, and you accept having a leader run your life for you, you dont grow menally any way. I doubt that someone who let somone else make important life decisions for them grow on any level at all. At SRF and in all those kind of cults, there is absolutely no growth at all. I would rather think that people become more like zomies. I have seen crazy people down town creaming and holloring religious things. I have also seen some wierd people in Berkely walking around at night time behaving weird. This is the way people that let their lives into someone elses hands end up. I bet those people have been to some kind of religious or non religious leader.

I wounder if any one at SRF can understand that what they are doing is not healthy at all. I remeber that some peple over there was like children sometimes, and this is what cults do to people. I think that if a person is insecure or dont want to make their own decisions about his or her life, then it is better to ask mom or dad, because they want a better life for you than you can get from a cult. But if one dont agree with mom or dad, then ask a shrink, or move to a socialist contry.

To live a spiritual life is to live in freedom, but not at spiritual rights freedom or any cult, because it is only the name that says freedom. Many people talk about freedom, but there is a lot of talk but little action.

Rev. Bill was someone who had endured living in the south about a couple of hundered years ago being an owner of a slavefarm, it was like if he was born in the wrong time for his character. I just dont understand how someone can want to have a relationship with a man like that. It is sad, that so many women liked him, or wanted him. I never understood what anyone could see in him. I know that he was a brute and that some people where scared of him. He could be very frightening, especially when he got angry or mad. He would have most of the ministers on his side too. Yes, I remember how angry he could become at someone. He once was so mad at me, for no reason I thought. Now I know why, it was not because of me, it was because of him. It is called a projection, thats what he did, and this is why I did not understand why, ususllay when people get angry it is for a reason.

Any way this cult and the ministers there should not practice any teachings at all, they are not qualified for it. They can not take that kind of responsibility. It is worse for childern growing up there, not so many I hope now a days. The children learn to belive in spirits and reincarnation from start. Parents at this cult think that the chilred actually become gifted, but the trouth is that they will not fit in to an ordinary society later in life if they wish to do so. They will be to brainwashed from childhood. Also i belive growing up among this kind of people in a cult is very harmful. It is important to learn certain things at a certain age. In SRF they use cult languge, wich is a little different from ordingary language. I dont know how long it would take for someone that grew up in a cult to be able to take part of the ordingary society. They would have to see a deprogrammer, but I dont know who would pay for that since when you leave a cult you have nothing.

If you are a member of an ordinary church you dont leave it without anything, that is a difference.

Find your inner self

2011-03-14T18:31:00.000-07:00

In meditation you are supposed to find yourself. Some years ago I worked in a health resort doing Hawaiian intestine cure among a lot of other things. This picture looks like one of the cassetes that I ordered from a docktor that treat intestinal parasites. The tape was named something like " Learn to know your inner self" I thougt first it was a meditation, but then I saw the picture of parasites.

Also the cults that theach meditation can be seen as parasites, you might have on the outside what you have in you inside if you are in one of these cults, if that is so, then you are parasited in both ends like I was.

The thing is you dont learn to know a shit about yourself if you are in a cult. You loose more and more of yourself, this is the trouth. Why? You loose connections with your parents and your past. You loose your background and more and more of your identity is changed and replaced with the cult culture. You might change the way you dress and even the way you talk. Definetely your change the way you think. You lose you identity that is for shure. This is very serious, this is the reason people go crazy sometimes, when they have lost themselfes they get so frustrated that they commit a lot of crimes, sometimes they become violent and sometimes they commit suicide.

If you want to learn more about yourself, you have to learn about your parents and granparents, what their lives was like. Your culture, religion and language, those are those things that makes an identity wich is you. When it comes to medicine mabye your bloodtype and what illnesses might have been in your family history.

When it comes to relationships it is to find a partner that have common interests and mentality. Otherwise one can probably find out common things to do togheter, but for sure one dont need to be set up or separated by some psychic, dont!

Oh! Bye the way, it you want to take care of yourselfes I found this great blogg to explore, I bet it will give you more outcome than any cult, look at this link http://www.google.se/imgres?imgurl=http://rawgirltoxicworld.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/parasites1.jpg%3Fw%3D300&imgrefurl=http://rawgirltoxicworld.com/%3Fp%3D1410&usg=__14tnyHnuEfyEBABOLlfvgPSx930=&h=336&w=665&sz=70&hl=sv&start=14&sig2=DKHYcIaLoC24qU6V-IFCPA&zoom=1&um=1&itbs=1&tbnid=Hby0R6J6tEe-xM:&tbnh=70&tbnw=138&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dparasite%26um%3D1%26hl%3Dsv%26sa%3DN%26tbs%3Disch:1&ei=d8F-TfHbG8efOrTJ_cAI

The inner self I found I took care of at a herbalist and I dont have any problems with parasites any more.

Looking for signs from god

2011-03-12T22:03:00.000-08:00

Well, as you start classes, you will learn magical thinking. You will look for signs that confirm the teaching so you get certain of what you learn is true. I suppose that you can fins just about any sign of anything anywhere if you have your mind set up for it. If you look for a special sign in everyday life, you will find it, I am sure.
I also remember that one diluted evening the rays from the headlights from the neighbours car turned out to be a being, probably and we needed a clean out in the apartment. How did I find out? It was in one of my doubtful moments when I decided to do some logical thinking and decided to find out the true light. The next evening I was 0bervent of the cars, and when a car turned into the parkinglot, there was the same ligt again up at the roof of the apartment.
Tere are so many emarassing moments of belife in the cult that it is hard to tell. Many women fell in love with rev. Bill, the founder who was a pruned up old man, he did not even wash himself properly.
I remember writing down things on paper and trowin in the fire, the flames that turned blue was a sign of relising that energy from those people that we had written down on the paper. Names of familiy members. I think it is a little like woodo tricks and you can find out about those things in a occult magazine that teenagers might buy.
There where psycic signs every now and then, I thing even a donut can give you a sign if you are into beliveing in that kind of crap. Finally youre back in the stage of a five year old. I know they did this to Linda that I worked for, I have seen her diluted that you would belive she was on drugs, even saying that meditation is a better kind of high. These people lost it, totally after some times training.
In meditation you look for signs of a lot of things, if you have been treatened badly it might just be because you had a past life where you did this and that and you deserve it more or less. This is the way you can be used in all kinds of ways at SRF.
You might think new age is about being you and having your freedom, but new age can be really evil and people can use you the way they like. In this cult they do. Even children have to suffer thier karma more or less. Since the parents belive in this small children are brought into it. Even a baby, because they also hava a spirit of course. Even before a child is born they are a baby being and can have a reading togheter with their mother. There can be signs that tell the psychic that this child comes from an earlier life and who it belongs to. There can be signs of who is going to be married to who and if they are going to have a child in several years. Then all of a sudden things can change, spiritual agreements can be broken on a spiritual level, and this is supposed to be a true life. People that leave the cult after many years will find themselfes fucked up totally. Mabye they have several children with someone they would not choose by free will at all, just someone that the leaders have appointed to them accordin to guidance from highter sourse that they have been connected to in mediation, and people have paid a lot of money for this. God know there is a lot of frugality to waste money on in these cults.

Swedenborgs church

2011-03-02T18:56:00.000-08:00

I happend to pass by Swedenborgs church again. I was in Stockholm and went the wrong way and suddenly I stod almost in front of it, so I decided to take some pictures. The church was closed, it is the most dead church you could ever emagine.

So I was in Stockholm and no churches no nothing, just seeing old friends and my family, wich is very healing. I feelt very peaceful and happy. Nothing bad happend and everything went well, life can be wounderful without healing, meditation and asrology. I was told I would not live long if I did not meditate every day when I left SRF, but it was long time since I meditated and I feel so good, have never felt better.

In my opinion seeing friens and family helps, also having good food, like I went to Hare Krishnas resturant here in Stockholm and they have such good food( But they are a sect) also I had a nice meal at a Korean resturant too, with one of my old school friends from long time back, she was in the US at the same time as me and was supposed to visit, but since I was at SRF at that time I said no to that. It feels good that SRF could not really take away some of my friends that I start to more and more reunite with.

On my way home I passed by Göteborg on the west coast in Sweden and stayed for tree hours to walk around shopping some nailpolish (I am not exactly rich) and I stopped and had a cappucino at a cafe, then I took the next bus and went to Halmstad and then I took the next bus home to my litte village where I live, finally I came home to my dear cats.

Pice of cake!

2011-02-13T17:36:00.000-08:00

My relative Susanne came down to my apartment to visit togheter with a friend. We watched a movie and had dinner here and tea and cake. This is the way we meet, it is called being social, wich is something that they almost never were at SRF any way.
After the movie Susanne told her boyfriend is moving to his own apartment, witch is great. The thing is, she told me she had read in the tarot cards about their realtionship that it was just a dream. Well I culd have told you that easy as a pice of cake! Is there something magic about the tarot cards, do they open your third eye? No I dont think so, I think they make a fool our of you. I realized that Susanne was up in they sky, dreaming, when she let this guy move into her apartment. All he has done during tree years is drinking and sleeping. Sometimes he has gone shopping food and alcohol, but otherwise not much else, besides seeing his con artist for a friend also in the village library. Is it hard to figure out that an alcoholis will just be drinking?
I used to read tarot cards, but not anymore. I realised that people get obsessed with them and it becomes very destructive. I did not take money for reading tarot exept for a few times at a fair in Stockholm, when I took a very small amount. At that time I belived in it myself, today i think it can be like a curse to have a reading on you and I regret that I did those readings.
One of my friends at University told med that she and her family was a lot into Astrology and new age once, but later they became chirstians. She told me that those readings can be a curse. And I remember all those readings I had that never realized. Also a change of lifstyle can really change your life and destiny of course.
Thinking of the readings at SRF I just dont know what to say. They told med that I had had a past life as a queen in Egypt, ha ha
Living in Stockoholm city I worked in a bar for a while and one day of work, visiting the city I past by my work. There was a woman there visiting someone at my work, guess what? She had had a past life reading at a psychic, and guess what she had been told? Yes, she had had a past life in Egypt as a queen!
I just did not know what to say, how could this happend, is it a common reading that psychic gives? or did I just meet a royal past life friend in a bar in Stockholm city? Sounds peculiar.
Anyway, now I am going to eat my pice of cake!

I went back

2011-02-03T00:40:00.001-08:00

This is me at my boyfriends place in Stockholm, we had many arguments and he also moved to S.F. and I decided to visit him after some time, and also to go to SRF. This is actually the clothes I was wearing the same day I came back to SRF, except for my expensive high heel bronze shoes that I left in a the front door of an apartment house in Stockholm city, as a protest towards the male chauvianist society.
I decided to go back to Berkely and have a look around. It must have been 1993 because Bill Clinton was President and I was surpriced at the mess in San Fransisco and the bay, because he had said that he was going to take care of the poor people, but I had never seen so many poor in my life, people even sleept in sleepingbags in the parks, it was a disaster.

So I went back to SRF in Berkely, it was fun to see them all, Bill even more pruned up than earlier. I was there for some healings and had a look around and saw the development of the place, seemed as if the had been prosperous, wich I now understand that they did by getting some donations from a few rich new memebers. I came there during one evening, then I went there to visit once during daytime. Rev. Bill had his military clothes on and there was a big American flagg on the wall in the room. I was waiting to ask about the yearclass, now that I was in better shape, but rev. Bill was the one that asked me -Why not me and you? He also explained that he had some desires for me. Then he smiled and I saw that he had false teeth. The old man, same age as my father or older with his pruned up face, gray hair, false teeth and two viwes living on welfare as I know, did not actually apeal to me, despite being the spiritual leader that many women would desiree at the cult. I did not know what to do, I just wished for a hole n the floor to sink into. Was the old man starting to become a little senile?

At this time I also visited rev. Michael Anast new place "Sprirtual rights freedom" on Dana street just a couple of blocks away from SRF on Ellsworth.

Finally at home

2011-02-03T00:18:00.000-08:00

This picture was taken by my father about one month after returning to Sweden. It is at my dads apartment in Stockholm City. Im about to turn 21, but I look like fifteen, I have coloured my hair in a lot of different colours. It was not a nice return, I lost most of my friends and I was ordered by my parents to hang out with my tree year younger sister who have the bad taste to like all low life type of peole you could ever emagine, she whoever ran away with her gangster boyfriend a couple of months later, to Sicily where he had connections.
This is one of the few pictures that I have, I got it long time after, because I would tear all pictures apart. At SRF and the cult you were not supposed to have pictures or take pictures, so if I found any pictures that I had taken in my early stay and sent home, I would tear them.
I suppose the reason for the cult to ban pictures is that they dont want to expose members to the public and show the negative change in them. The exuce at SRF is that someone can send negative energy to you trough a picture.

Long time effect

2011-02-02T22:01:00.000-08:00

I became ill, I think I just had lack of nourishment, and probably a lot after years of not eating enough food and without vitmins. I had not been to a doctor for years eather, since I had been thought that I could meditate away all my illnesses and that I would not need so much sleep eather. I was about 44 pounds underweight, I can hardly belive it. I was proud of my low weight, because of my background growing up with my dads wife mocking me for being fat, even tough I know today I was not, she had a problem because she worked in european fasion industry.
After I had left SRF and had a few other jobs, My skin started to become a little yellow, I dont know why, I thought I just had a funny sunburn or something. In a new place where I worked the missis was a little bit mentally disturbed, someone said that she is not in touch with reality, wich I had to experience. I lived in the basement of the house and she had given me a fridge, but it was broken and there was no cold in it. I could not store food in the new place and the missis did not understand why not, even though I explained why, it was like if she did not understand more than that you need to have a fridge. At the same time she understood a lot and did mess up a lot of things, so it was hard to live there. I went out sometimes to have something to eat, Id prefer mexican, chinese or sushi, because it is most wholesome, convenient and inexpensive. One pays for food, one better get the most out of it.
Anyway, One day in the missis lighter moods she asked me if I wanted to start collage, as I knew about this missis from my friend I know that you dont start a project with her unless you like troubles. She was my friens aunt and my friend Linda from Sweden had lived there for a high school year, but had had a lot of problems during that time with the missis, actually she had caused the whole family a lot of trouble, so to start up collage in her regime was not a good idea. I blamed my illness, because I have crohns deasese and need to take b12 otherwise I easily become anemic. I told her I think I am anemic, since I probably was and then did not even have to tell a lie. The missis did not want to let go of her idea to put me in college, she was stubborn and asked her husband too who was a doctor at USSF. Dr Epstien got a little pissed, I supposed that he was used to his wifes stubborness and that when she got an idea she could become very hostile and cause a lot of troubles if she did not get her way. So he said, let her go to the free medical clinic and I was sent of unwillingly. My friend Linda was even called to the house to pick me up and drive me there.
The free medical clinic was at Height street in the Height/ Ashbery area, an area wich I like a lot and just a couple of blocks away from where I used to live for some months in S.F during my work in the Swedish bakery. I was let of a couple of blocks from the clinic, because it was not so easy to stop at Height steet, since there are also busses running there. There is a Safeway store at Golden Gate Park, and thats where we stopped and I left the car. So I started to walk towards the clinic. My unwillingness to go to the clinic was due to what I had learned at SRF, docktors was no good. So I had to go to the docktor. What happend was I had a panic attac, as soon as I got to the block of the free medical clinic I just fell. I stepped up and tryed to walk there but no, then I walked back wich was fine, than I tried to walk towards the medical clinic again and fell. It was scary. I thought, I must go to Berkely and get healing. So Linda had to drive me there, as I was in panic. I did get some healing and everything was fine. Then I went back to S.F. and I dont remember what happend at the place I lived, but I dont think that they approved to my behavior.
Today I understand what happend. In meditation and healingclass over and over again I had been brainwashed, it is like being hypnotized, to belive that hospitals and docktors are bad for you, that there are beings that can try to take over your body and spirits everywhere that can try to use you, as well as past liftes interfering with you life. If you get hypnotised to belive something, it will stay there even though you dont notice it or think about it, the thing is that it will have an effect later, when you have no clue at all what happens to you. Then you must do somehing like go to the SRF for spiritual help, and it will cost you, but be worht it, because no doctor will understand that you have a spiriutal problem actually, they will just think you are mentally ill. At SRF they will heal you and take a psychic look at you, you might need to take another class or work on you grounding, at the worst you might be an uncontrolled trance medium and need to take a tree year long special class to learn how to own you space and not to let other beings in, this is a very difficult process and it is hard work for the teachers too, it will cost a lot and you have to sign special contract. I was more or less possesed by spirits attacing me, perhaps it was better that I died.
I even went to Michaels new place scared like hell of my bad spiritual conditions, it was mental institution, death or transmedium class, but Michael Anast was a good guy, he was strong and a progressive man that did belive that he could deal with my spiritual problems and master it. I was to start all over again, I was to live there, I was to keep a strict lifestyle and work hard there and help out and then after some time start some classes. Rev. Michael lived togheter with Rev. Janice and Rev. Linda at that time. Rev.Jancie had been in a similar situation some years earlier and she had been helped by the programme. Poor Janice, she had been so ill that she could not even walk, she was crawling around on the floor for a week when they started to work on her.
Well, all those things almost made me so tired that I just lost it and when my father came over and gave me a ticket home I went home to Sweden.
Some years I went back to visit them. Rev. Michael explaned that Linda and Janice had moved to a house in Marin and he now lived with a new woman also named Janice at the house and they had a son togheter that I meet. I went up to Marin the day after and stayed in rev. Janice house for a short time, rev Linda had the bottom of the house and I saw her too, but she was not happy, of course. I just dont know what to say. Before I came I had shaved my head, I thought it was better to do it before than after since I knew it would be ruogh and I probably would catch lice again on the secound stay in S.F.
Michael had a new child with Janice and two new children with rev. Janice and a new child with rev. Linda. Seeing all the children I must have looked confused. I just got in a state of anxiety and tried to avoid them, I just thought NO!!! Then I figured that Michel must have had a child with rev.Janice and then another with rev.Linda and then one more child with rev. Janice again.
except for the tree children he already had with rev. Linda when I worked there at my first stay. Rev. Linda also had a new child togheter with a new man so there where about eight chilren there at that time and probalby more after that.
I just don know what to tell. Rev. Michael opened up a cult where he could live like a mormon, in California. How does he support all his children, well I suppose poorly, when I worked there, there was not much food. Obviously he has some money to buy houses and probably he earns some money from his cult and I know his women earned some money from keeping a housecleaning company togheter, but it cannot be a lot. Im so glad that I left, and Im so sad it turned out like this.

One more thing, many wimen at these cults look almost like on the picture, minus make up, necklace and nice expensive dress. The clothes you´d be wearing would rather be the most inexpensive old rags you can find in a marketplace and some sandals that youd be using until they fall off. You´d be living like the khmerer rounge under Pol Pot in communist Cambodia. I remember many times I asked - Are you communists? It was not popular critique to them.

Time away

2011-01-26T05:05:00.000-08:00

I left SRF, being an au-pari for some time, I feelt that the situation was maintained by me, being there. If I was not there, they would have to solve the situation in the family I worked for in a better way. Well they did not, because rev. Bill was a dum person and his women on his side where dummer. Instead of solving familyproblems that they had created they did throw rev. Linda out with her children, on the street. Wounderful!, they had destroyed her marriage, taken her house, taken one of her chilren away and left her with two chilren and they did not provide a job for her after finishing her yearclass that made her able to support two children living in a small cottage in the area that the SRF owned. I wounder how to they think? Do they think?
As they ran churchservice they should be able to help out paying rent even for that small unrenovated apartment on the back of the mainboulding where we lived. But no. Where did all the money go? From start they had a big villa with a pool in Marin.

Ok, so I went away to work in the city. First I worked in the Swedish bakery wich was nice but not well paid, then I got a new job and took my chanses. The new job was far up on Market street close to Castro, it was in a Danish delikatessen. I liked the place at first, they had real food. So I worked there for some time, but then I think I had a nervous breakdown. I had worked for years without vacation, but I dont think it was that. The owner was an older man who once came over from Denmark. He was nasty and sour. I remeber I had to work as hard as I could for 8 hours every day, but I thought, it was just for eight hours, and I got food, and some pay, so it was fine. We would peel potatis to be boiled in a big big pot. The potatoes had to be pealed fast, and one had to be careful not to peal ones fingernails off. Once I said now it is full, the man came and shouted -it is not full! I said ok, but I cannot put more in that pot. He then put his shoe in the potatoes and pressed them down and said there is more space. Then later he sold potatoes that he had put his dirty shoe in. One day, when cleaning under all tables in the kitchen a dead rat came out too, the man just took it in with his fingers. The man was disqusting, one day I saw that he keept a revolver in his cash register. Another day a black man came in to get lunch, he asked what kind of food they served, but the man just said, we dont serve anything that you would like! I could almost not belive my ears. Anyway shortly after that I stated to make misstakes, I boiled over the coffe, so there was coffe running down on the floor and some other misstakes. I think that I started to become afraid of him, because I saw him as a mad person with a revolver. Then when a new girl started to work for us, I had to leave. The new girl was danish too, like the boss, and she was twice my size and twice as strong, she too had a sour personallity.
I was not sad to leave, I was finised, mabye my nervous system cannot take people behaving badly. Not so long after this I went back to SRF to take classes, this is when rev. Bill started to shout and behave badly towards me too, and I did not know why. Rev. Bill would accuse me of a lot of things that where out of my control, but made me look guilty in front of everyone else.

St Lucia celbration in Sweden

2010-12-13T10:17:00.000-08:00

Just want to send you a film from my church in Sweden. This is a real chrisitan church and this is the St Lucia celebration. This film is from Saturday, but the real Lucia day is today but we dont have any churchservice at Mondays so this was the closest day. Lucia was a saint in Syrcuse Italy. I think that it is one of our old traditions that we still keep since sweden was catholic long time ago.

Being a cult member seems far away.

Another vicitim in the name of god

2010-12-13T09:30:00.001-08:00

Taimour Abdulwahab is another vicim for a sect. He could have had a great future, instead he died in the streets of Stockholm yesturday at the age of 28. Taimour was a Swedish citizen, he came to Sweden when he was teen years old from Irak and grew up here.

A painting of the profet Mohammed like a dog is the reason why this guy blew himself up. It is a little crazy in my opinion that a young man with a great eduacation, perfectly healthy blew himself up over a painting. I have not seen the painting until now, I had a look at the painting on internet, it is an insult to the muslim people, but most people dont approve to it. It is a painting that are of no significanse to most people. Surley the Al-quida sekt has just used him and had him killed in order to intimidate people in the western countries.

To Al-quida I would like to say that we let people into our country to have a life here, when their own country has failed. War is not the right way and I dont think that Jihad is to blow oneself up in the air, Jihad is to do good deeds, to fight the bad and the bad things are war. We let people come here to have education and the possibilities to a great life, and what do they do? They destroy that, they take someones son and turn him into a terrorist instead.

I feel so sorry for his family that have lost a family member to a sekt, they try to turn away from war and everything bad about it order to save their family and look what Al-quida gave them. Cults and sects are dangeourus and in many poor countries they can grew like all other kinds of problems because there is no infrastructure or a bad funktioning infrastructure that cannot support the countries needs. This is also what Rev. Jones used when he decided to move his cult to Guyana where he could do his work as he pleased without interference from gouvernment control.

Not only Al-quida does terrorize the society, many cults and sects have intimidated societies and terrorised. The religious terrorist is a far more dangerous terrorist because of his belifes that he will go to heaven afterwords.

In the cult I joined the deal was that there is no death, the spirit just go on into a new life perhaps a better life, well I doubt it. I did a test on facebook, what country woul I be born in today if I was born again and it said Kenya where many children are born with HIV and there are no medical care for most people. I can tell you for sure, that what happens after death is a mystery that we dont know, what we do know is that we will lie in the grave and rot.

To get ill

2010-12-13T04:30:00.000-08:00

I got a cold, im very ill. The last thing one need is to be in a cult when one gets ill. If you are very ill it for sure leads to abuse by the leader. It is sad that people belive that healing will save them. When I lived in the SRF area I luckily did not have a cold like this and migrains. No I worked every day I was there and I was almost never away. Once I was stomach sick and I did not clean the dish that evening, thats it.
As Im getting older Im becoming more and more ill. I dont think I would have made it at a cult today, and in cults they want young people of course. One was always afraid of rev. Bill and his hate towards people that had illnesses. He could give nasty explainations about why they have gotten ill. Of course it was their own fault. People got ill because they let in energies from their parents and so on. People that were seriously ill had a lot of spiritual problems and would be a danger to SRF, because the would pollute the energy of the boulding.

Now

2010-12-08T05:02:00.000-08:00

One winterpicture from my balkony. Winter came early this year just like I predicted from reading the nature, ha ha ha it is not so difficult. I bet someone like a leader at a psychic school would know how to read a lot of signs like they did in the old days. In the old days they had different knowledge about nature and they had to in order to survive. My great granmother knew a lot about herbs and how to benefit from nature. For instance you should bake bread when there is about to be fullmoon and wash clothes at full moon because the water is better then. She made a boiling pot of herbs and resin from the forest when we had the spanish flu in 1918 and everyone in the family survived, that was not the case in other families in that area. Survive things are not always about being strong, sometimes it is about having knowledege. In old age people that where curious and walked aroung and investigated the area they lived in where the one that where the surviviors. I dont think that it is strange, because if you are curious you find a lot of opporturnitites around you, even if you are at internet or read books you find out a lot of helpful things, the world opens up.
In a cult you are told to do the opposite, the leader give you a small square to move around in. That square becomes your life. The teaching in a cult is demonizing the outher world and the only thing that is approved is the teaching and the work you are given. The reasons cults are not approved by socitey is because to many times it has led to that people have comitted suicide or murdered others. Many times people that have been members of cults become mental patiens later or end up in hospital for not taking care of their health for a long time. Some loose their teeth among other things, it is not unusual. This teaching that the cult offers to you and that you even pay for is actually limiting your life and makes you less capable. At SRF they call it growth periods, but i think I would call it anxiety hysteria for natural reasons, the survival instinct tells you someting is wrong, Im trapped, but you are to brainwashed to bring that up to your awareness. Of course you are just told to take another reading or mabye another class. Mabye it was a past life that interfered with your emotions of today or some exuse like that. This is what you are told. Of course the cult is good to you, they might have a health programme along with the teaching, but this is not going to help you in the long run.
Know what I would do if I had been in Berkely today? I would have walked around and up to the Universitey and find our everything I could about it, where is the liberary? is it possible to get a library card? what does it cost? Are there any free classes?Mabye there are free lecturers. I guess that in Berkely there are a loot of opporturnities of course. There are probably a lot of classes you can take that are cheaper and better than at SRF. I know that Marion Rosen also lived in Berkely, she thaught rosen therapy and there are so many great people that have lived there that there should be a lot of schools and classes outside the campus as well.
If you want to learn real healing you mind as well pick up a book on herbs or living food and learn by yourself how to prepare and cook different foods. There are also books and classes on reflexology, ear akupunkture, holistic medicine and akupressure. There are so many good things one can do instead of joining a cult. Even to become a medical orderly working night shift is a lot better that joining a cult because it will be very helpful contribution to society. Just take a look at this page http://education-portal.com/paramedic_school_california.html it is so easy, just takes about one semester and it will bring you a far better income than being a cult member. It is also going to take a lot of less effort and cost you less. If you do this instead, you can enjoy a true free life. Simple and easy.

Unconditional love

2010-12-04T00:02:00.000-08:00

Seems like if the cult wanted women to love their husbands unconditionally. The polygamist leader rev. Bill did not care much for marriages unless he arranged them of course. Even people that where married where split up and rearranged by him and some of his psychic leaderas that helped out. Children lost their parents and wifes lost their husbands as soon as they entered SRF. After entering the cult, a person could be set up with a new partner that would fit them more spiritually than their wife or husband. Cult leaders do this to get the power over thier followers, its how they divade and rule.
Also the realationships at SRF was low moral, rev. Bill was a polygamist and a narcissist, he demanded unconditional love from his women and his followers, he did not care about anybody else. I suppose that the leaders there now continue that part of the teaching as well.
It is very hard for a person to love someone unconditionally, without any rules. If you want unconditional love, you will have to find Jesus, because he is the only one that could do so. You have to become a monk, not a polygamist. There are rules in the society and in relationships and marriages. The rules are there for a reason, so things will work out for everybody. I would say that this proves that the teaching at the cult is simply dysfunktional, since life does not work out for everyone when a family member enters the teaching.

Things we did not know

2010-11-14T01:14:00.000-08:00

There where many things that one did not know at the time in SRF, but one culd feel the treathening enviroment every now and then. That there were guns and so on, I did not know, but I am not surprised now when it is mentioned. The attitude from the leader were hostile at times, because a lot of things were not your buisness. You could ask for someone or simply just ask about someone that had left, why? And then there was that attitude. Answers was usually that it was not my buisness or that the person had done something bad at the academy. They way it was conveyed you understood that this person was not someone to mention again.
Many times there was anger towards you without doing anything, you could be accused for leaving energy somewhere or jumping into someones head.
Many of the men were nasty, one was a pervert, I think those who has been there now who. People where sloppy and sometimes they did not shower for days. I remember that I did not have time to shower for a week somtimes and that is not good for ones health. I dont like when it is like that, but it was just getting worser and worser.
The language that we learned was cult language and the language of the leaders were not complex, it was more of a low level of education american english. As a matter of fact I have had difficulties doing english afterwards, because I just have cult language to lean back on. Others that have stayed in the US for some time have learned more proper english and also on a higher level. One good thing is that Linda who I worked for liked vegetarian diet, so I was introduced to vegetarian foods wich I like a lot. It was not much food though, and not much time off and not much pay for working. There was a lot of lack of sleep during that time, first of all because of all the time spent in the little house behind the academy and also because one gets tired in an enviroment where there is no intellectual stimulation what so ever.
I know that the teaching was not an intellectual as Bill put it, it was spiritual. First I did not understand and I thougt that some people meditation would not be a big deal. But after some time It was a big deal, because when you stay in a place like that you loose connection with the world around you. We had tv, but that was about it, that was the connection with the outher world. I remember that I did not watch the news very much eather after some time, I dont remember why, but mabye it was something that gave negative energy. One becomes ignorant and deluted from being in touch even with people connected to the teaching. I was accused of going on Lindas growth periods, like if I was stealing the teaching. No one could be happier than me if I had just gotten payed so that I could have left and rented a decent room or apartment somewhere and start a real job and bought a car. I did not even meet other people than those I saw from SRF and most of them where nasty.
It would have been fun to have been able to see something else from the bay area and also to be able to take a days rest, just to read a book or relax. I dont know of there is anyone that understand the word relax in the bay at all. But here we might go to the pool and sauna in the weekend or for a long walk in the forrest, and you dont have to jump up early in the morning like if you were a soldier in the army. Every day is not a struggle, there is also something called free time. If you work all the time you will loose a lot, because you will get tired and make misstakes, you can accidentely burn down your house from forgetting a pot in the stove or mabye smash up your car, you might even forget to pay our insurance and get ill. I meet a guy that told me his father had not payed his insurance and then he had a heart attack so they had to sell their home to pay doctors. Many shitty things happends if people work all the time, I have seen it happen to many people, those who work the most have nothing. This is also the case with SRF, you work and you get nothing.
Now it is Sunday, I am going out now for a walk, the weather is nice and I have not been out for some time because I have had a cold.

The wrong perspektive

2010-11-09T20:11:00.000-08:00

Look at the picture, what do you see. What impression does it make on you, what does it make you feel?
In my opinion it is a nice picture gone wrong. The perspective is wrong dimensions and the colours are brown greyish much and heaven has to mutch drama. The shadows are flat and they dont give the picture the tree dimensional sense like they are supposed to. It looks as if the artist wants to make a small picture look very big. The feeling this picture convey to me is disquietude. My feeling is that the artist is a twisted person with a lot of sence of detail. The colours are clear but not nice and the comibiantion of colours are not sensational. It is not a painting I would like to have on my wall, simply because it has no artistic value in my eyes. Still this painting is a valuble pice of art. Not because of the art it self, because of the artist that painted it and never made in into artschool.
One does not have to be very smart to reveal a scam, still many people belive in them, experince them and live with it ongoing whitout doing anything about it. How come? Does people never learn? I guess most people are stupid. Today we have a lot of educated people on the planet, especially in Berkely. The books I read in my class, about cults and terror where written, some of them in Berkely. How come SRF are still there?
Mabye because the teaching is secret and they leaders scared the shit out of people that went there, or because so many that went there have to little education to do something about it despite internet. What about social workers? Are they not hired by the state to take care about problems. Mabye the problems with HIV and AIDS have overburden them so much that the gouvernment has lost control. So many people now have education, actually high school should be about enought to learn the signs and danger of cults, still there are student at SRF. What to do? Society are in need of more poeple with civilian courage to come forward and reweil what is going on inside of those cults and sekt. Yes I know, the law is a problem when it comes to cults, becase of freedom any dickhead can start a cult, but freedom should not be misunderstood. In my opinion, there should be a new law namned MISSUSE OF FREEDOM.
The painting is made by a little mr Hitler.

Healing and smoking?

2010-11-09T19:43:00.000-08:00

The most repulsive thing I know is probably when people have bad teeth. I think that is whay I mentioned rev. Bills false teeth so many times. There is a reason to that, if you dont live healty you destroy your teeth. I have lived healty for many years and have had only one cavatie since I moved away from my parents. I have grind my teeth many times and destroyed one or two of them because of that. This is because of a life in poverty that I have had to endure since SRF and that everyone that are there will suffer as well, if they just dont "Loose their whole body", what does it matter it is just "energy" isnt it.
Anyway, during my time at SRF healing and smoking was totally ok, to smoke was not someting dangerous, it was someting good, because it grounds you totally. Someone told me that rev. Bill had conveyed this at a moment of knowledge. As I have mentioned erlier, the guy had big brownish false theeth. At first I did not know about it, I never went that close, but later at my secound stay in the bay I found out when he had a chat about, I dont know, he kind of asked something about, -Why not me and you? I just did not know where to go, I just wished for a hole in the ground to sink into. Also I thought that the guy was disqusting, but he was the leader at SRF. He must have become a little senile, because he smiled broadly like some kind of Hemmingway character and totally forgot about his false teeth that almost fell out.
Anyway, those who are still at SRF, time to pack your bags and leave! Life has better thing to offer.

Spiritual perversion

2010-10-26T10:12:00.000-07:00

Yes I have been reading this book. I must say I feel sorry for many members of SRF and I hope that hey will close that place down forever. I cant understand why it is not already closed, at last when Bill died.
Anyway I did see a film yesturday about the cult in Eldorado where the mormons bouilt a temple, it was worse than SRF and in a larger scale. It was awful, and today I have been feeling sick and had headaces. I remember that in the end of my stay in the bay area I had a lot of head aces as well. It is not that I have an illnes in my head it is just that low morality often has that effect on me. I started to realize more about this cult and also I happend to step right into someone who was having incest with her son, obviosly.
So I had a lot of head ace. I also had to go throught a lot of hatred from others around me since I got ill and since leaders had been the ones doing wrong. My boss at my new job had done something wrong and now i knew about it. Rev. Bill had done a lot of things wrong and he was afraid that I would know enough to put him in prison, It was just I that did not know it then.
If I had know I would have gotten angry, I just cannot understand that Rev. Angela did put up with that bastard, why did she not leave. But money might taste sweeter that sanity.
The book does just tell one persons story, but many people have gone through SRF programmes and most of them have suffered. Some are ok with what the cult is doing, I dont understand why, mabye because they cannot arrange their own lifes and want someone else to do it at any price. In my opinion arranged marriages is something destructive. And it seems that those arranged marriages that rev. Bill made people have broke most of them. One must be really cray to be ok with having an arranged marriage. I know that some arabs still have arranged marriages, to their cousins in order to make the money they have stay in the family and also to make family ties stronger, so that the father in law will also be the uncle. They belive that marriages like that will last longer. But the trouth about cousin marriages are that many times children produced in those marriages are born with illness or stillborn. So arranged marriages are not a good idea. Mabye people at SRF thought that being set up with someone would be great if it was done by someone real spiritual, but I would advice them to read the bible. A real spiritual person is not so complicated. Spirituallity is for everyone.
The teaching at SRF just leads to confusion and dependance of the leaders. Who would emagine that after a year you would be so dependent of others. I remember that after having been there for a while, I thougth that life was so much easier before, before I ever came there. I was and independent person, even though I had grown up in a socialist country, even thought I was young and i did not have a lot of education. After the education at Spiritual rights foundation, I had lost a lot of my independence, but Im glad I did not get stuck there. I am glad that rev. Bill made everybody angry at me so I had to leave. Even though I am not glad for what he have done to others.

Church

2010-10-23T12:48:00.000-07:00

Today I went to church, a real church. It is nice and pleasant. I think that one needs spirituallity but not a cult. The church I go to have service on wednesdays and Saturdays for a couple of hours. I think that thats about enough time to spend in a church. If one wants more spirituallity than that there is always the bible to study or help out with some extra work like cleaning the church or bake a cake for a meeting or bring something, more effort that that is not needed normally for a funktioning churc. Also when it comes to giving money it should be by free will and there is nobody saying to anyone elsa that you are supposed to give more than you want to give. God loves a happy giver! And the church grows here anyway. Our church have grown and today there was a lot of people there. We reson that the church grews from praing to God and that God does the work. In a cult the members might have to work day and night for the church to grow, we dont. I remember the time at SRF and that people there worked a lot and stayed up all night sometimes. People with small children came home mabye every secound weekend at times for a few hours.
In my opinion a spiritual life should be an easy life, becaus belive in God should help you. I never had a more difficult life than at SRF and it has haunted me for the rest of my life. Also the cult was hostile against society, a true church is not. To create hostility is a treat of cults. Cults demonize the world around them in order to make their disaples more dependent on the cult. A church does not create hostility it is a place for forgiveness and peace. Jesus is the god of peace. So if a minister says anything else they are lying.

Academy of psychic studies

2010-10-19T15:32:00.000-07:00

So now the SRF has changed name on their webbsite. Yes this is what they do. They have several names on their buisnesses. Like Hare Krishna is called ISKON or the Moon church is called Unification church or like many other cults.
The thing is that this is a Cult seriously and relationships are messy. Often relationships between men and women are arranged and sometimes a man can have relationships with two or more women at the same time, he can even have children with them at the same time. Marriages before entering SRF are usually broken as the student starts to "grow" spiritually. By meditating and with help from ministers at the place you get help to develop as a spirit and then youll realize the trouth, witch the leaders will help you to see. Then you will make some serious changes in your life and become happy. The trouth is youll breake with all your family, friends and breake your marriage to start up at SRF to work hard for years day and night. You will give all your money to SRF and start wearing the cheapest possible pice of rags to wear on your body, eventually you will look like a hippie all fatiged in your clothes that hang on your body and with dark rings under your eyes. You will have your hair grow all direktions and your skin will be unhealthy from not getting enough rest and nutrision. If you stay for long your weak spots will show up and you might start getting problems with your teeth. Rev Bill the founder of SRF had false teeth, but I supposed he lost his teeth during his stay in Vietnam, they probably did not wear a tooth brush out in the bush at Saigon. Or mabye he lost his teeth afterwards, some of the ministers where sloppy and did not care much about hygienes. Ther was a hot tub outside the school, but it was not used too often and several of the ministers where quite smelly.
Well the new name is "Academy of Psychic studies"wich also is an old name, this is what they answered the phone with already in the eighties when they bought the house at Ellsworht street.
There might also be third name, "Church of Divine man" or that SRF is a branch of Church of Devine man. I remember so well, I was there I learned, but I should have learned other things than this teaching wich leads to nothing. Well now I can practise my English writing about it instead.

Appelwhite

2010-10-17T15:53:00.000-07:00

One of the most crazy cult leaders was Appelwhite. It was some time since I read about him, but as far as I remember he was a leader for a cult that belived in UFO:s. Yes there are also UFO:cults. He was into new age as well and disaples did a lot of things to become pure enoght to get picked up to a space ship as he had made them belive that they would if they followed his teaching. I suppose he also scared them that life on earth would be erazed.
This man also had his disaples emasculate themselves and sterilized. Finally he made them all commit suiside together. The truth is that he himself was dying from cancer.
There is more to read about this guy and his cult called Appelwhites cult, you can find it on google if you look for it.
This is and example of a cult and there are more. We have had some people in my country to that have cheated other people to stand on a field for one whole night waiting for an UFO to come and meet them. One woman cheated people to do this and took some money for it, I dont know what her explaination was later, mabye she said that they were not picked up because of their bad aura or some exuce like that.

Haunted

2010-10-17T15:27:00.000-07:00

The ministers of SRF wanted to become ghostbusters, they where going to healp people that lived in hounted houses to get rid of those spirits. Bill was talking about poltergeists and stuff. This was towards my end of the stay at SRF. The classes he thought started to become more intense and Bill was getting more and more agressive.
I was blamed for a lot of things, like messing up the engergies in the building at Ellsworth street. I was also accused for having possibly injured the chilred in such a way that they might grow up and become mediums. I supposed I had some invalidating spirit or had had an evil eye while babysitting and was threwing engergies around me. Rev. Bill had the most amazing knowledge about peoples spirits and intentions. He know what they where all about and what influence they had on the energy around them.
The only haunting youll ever experience from the teaching is the bad economy that follows. It has haunted me for many years now. Rev. Bill wanted young people to go to SRF thats why the said that older people cannot have the teaching and he did not want to young people eather. The reason is that he wanted people that where young enough that he could cheat them and get money out of them. He did not want to young people because they dont have that much money and they might still be under influence of their parents.
I have written a lot about this, and people that are still at SRF might think that it is not nessery but I feel that I want to write as many times as I spend days there at least. Of course those that are still there dont want anyone to write anyting about them at all. They just want their home page to be on the internet. Their teaching is a secret.
I got so tired of these secrets so I write and write. It makes me feel better to reveal my experience to those that might read it and are curious about what SRF has to offer. Well it is a cult and there are a lot of books to read about cults at the library. I know Berkely university has a lot of informantion on the topic as well. One of the books that I had at school studying cults was written by a professor from Berkely University, so it is sad that people still become vicitms when information are only a few blocks away. This is also the reason that the teachings are so secret, so no one would find out what is going on.

Ugly language

2010-10-15T15:17:00.000-07:00

One thing that I regret a lot also is learning a lot of bad words. The language spoken at SRF cult was a mixture of cult internal language and I suppose con language. A lot of bad word and bad speach. I learned to sound like a thug.
Language is important, it is part of our identity. I know that I would not have managed well in the US with that kind of sociolekt.
So the conclution I have gained from this is that you wont go far if you take part of these cults. They can not educate people. I know some of the ministers might have a degree, but that is not the same as being ok. I dont know why a person with a degree would want to be part of a cult, mabye a few leaders have degrees and they are the ones earning from this. But still a person with a degree could earn money in better ways. Still some people that are corrupt also have degrees form univeristy. Even cons in prison could have a degree because it does not say much about your caracter and mentality.
I take classes in english now, and do I have much to learn? Yes, loads. I just hope that I can have the energy to learn as much as I have to to change things when it comes to cults, sekts, female abuse, drugproblems, enviromenal problems and to reveal a lot of scams. I was not only in SRF, I was also in connection with the drug cartell during my stay in the bay, not by free will thou.

scamed again

2010-10-15T14:16:00.000-07:00

Today I was informed that money has been taken from my visa account. It was about 50 dollars and I had only agreed to that less than a dollar was to be taken from my account. I tried to find the webb adress to the site but was only sent round and round back to start again several times. Then I tried to call the number that was on the site and it lead me to an eighty year old woman living in Stockholm. I talked to her, she was very helpful and told me that about 40 persons had called her about the same thing. This woman sounded like if she was about 60 years at the most and was clearer in her head than me.
I called the police to report what had happend and the bank to have my visa canceled. This took a lot of time and effort, in the afternoon a sleept for some hours and now I have a little head ace, because the scam was good and I will not get my money back, thats almost for certain.
This webbsite is owned by a Danish company, it is named pointshop. Anyhow, this is only one of the scams that I have been lured into. It feels bad, but I will survive. The only thing is that I start to lose hope in life, is it only going to be like this?
One can work hard, one can try to save some money, but there will always bee problems. If there is not a thug steeling the money or that you work for someone that do not pay, then there is a cult or a friend or a boyfriend that takes care of what you have earned. I get so tired of this. I think that I have been used all life and also been getting a bad reputation myself from these kind of people.
I do not work, I have a retierment cheque from the gouvernment after they also helped fuck up my health . A dream scenario for becoming a cult member. Good thing I know about cults by now, but now thera are other promblems that occur evidentely.
Tomorrow I am going to church, I have to practise a lot of forgiveness. One good thing is that the socialist did not win the election here in Sweden. One bad thing is that the racist party got more power and that they now have some influence here. I just dont like them, they call themselves Sweden democrat and they want Sweden to restore swedish culture and trow out a lot of foringers from our country. I just dont know what to say, I have never been much of a Sweden culture lover. I suppose that I am supposed to wear a swedendress and have braids and wooden shoes and start doing old swedish dance. Ugh I dont know what is worser, that or being part of a cult. Problems like this is why some people leave and travel elsewhere.
I am sorry for having let myself been lured into SRF and part of that. I wished that I had known better, but I did not. I think that it was also a hard time in the 80ties and looked for something else after the last hippe had left Heigth Ashbery. In the 80ties AIDS and HIV started to occur. People did not know to much about it then, only that it was a deadly desease and that it might spread like a plauge and kill millions of people, that it was sexually tranmitted and that it was uncurable. Also there was still the cold war wich made many people depressed, I remember that I was depressed. I school we learned that the planet cult bee destroyed and every person killed about 80 times from nuclear bombing. The enviromenalist movement had not started yet.
Conservative ideas where back and womens liberation declined, wich meant that women could not make the same demands as earlier. In Europe it was not expected for a woman to have higher education only about 10% of the women went to collage and university. Most of my female friends in California went to collage thou, but then San Fransisco is one of the most liberated places on the planet with many possibilities for education.
As I look at SRF I think how low can a woman fall, two or more women sharing the same man? Why does one stay in such a place? Is not that a good reason to realise that something is wrong, and to leave? Whats in it to stay? For a woman to share a man is saying it is ok to only get 50% of a man. To a man it is saying, well mabye I have to be alone, because the leaders want to have the women. Try then to figure out whats more.
Mabye at this time it was a good buisness to bouild a cult, but today it might not be. One reason is that it is more common that people get educated and educated people know what they are doing. Another reason is that internet reaches the whole world and you cannot keep secrets the same way anymore. It will be on the internet. People are more aware and will tell about it. Most of us have been scamed and now we deal with it.

Jehovas

2010-10-05T00:54:00.000-07:00

At about 30 yrs old I started to read the bible with Jehovas Vitness. I thought why not, one of my friends had told me that I would fit as a Jehovas Vitness. I had not read the bible before, because I did not understand it. Here I got bible studies, wich I thought was good. Jehovas witness does however teach from their own litterature and only refer to some places in the bible. Many times I left Jehovas because I feelt that I needed a break. To be with Jehovas vitness feels like eating yourself stuffed with oatmeal and then take another big portion, they never know when to stop. It was to much. I hardly remember anything that I read becase of overreading all the texts from them. I was with them for about 10 years, but never became a full member. I know some of their rules that I lived by, wich also where a lot of.
Then I meet a new friend from Iceland that wanted me to come to the new free christian church and I could see for myself true Christianity wich was revealing. After some time I did not want to take part of Jehovas vittnes. The people that I had had bible studies togheter with came and I remember that they would question my mental status. However they did not get far with that. I continued my studies at University that time and after some time I moved. It took me years to get rid of that square behavior that I had been thought by Jehovas Vitness but now I think that I am normal. I go to the Christian church because I think that we need spirituality and because I belive.
Here in this country where I live there is only about 3 % of the people that belive in God. My country is one of the countrys in the world that has least belivers. As my friend said, the air here is so full of unbelif that it is painful to live here. Most people here belive in science only. I dont fint it unpossible to belive in both, but many people think that science is an opponent to beliveing in God. Well thats their own misstake. I also see that the unbelive that we have to face every day restrain people who belive. Many times they write negative articles in the newspapers here about fanatic religious people that do exersism on their childern and such things to make people think that churchgoers are really freaked out people. Most of the people that I meet in church are much more tolerant that common people whitout belive.

School for children

2010-10-04T02:52:00.000-07:00

In the church that I go to now a days there is a sunday school that is a school were the children of those visiting the church service learn about Christ while their parents listen to the preaching. In the psycic schools it was not so. During the time I spent there, the children could be part of the church service as long as they sat still and was quiet. If the children started to cry or jump around one had to leava the room and go outside. At that time most of the ministers had no experince at all from children and was not very understaning. There is no button to turn of crying on a child, there is no remote control. Later on several of the ministers had children or their own, but at that time I had left. Rev. Bill the head was not very found of children, despite what it says about him, he could be very agressive towards them. He would even accuse them of playing games and many of his disiples would belive him, wich is sad. I think that people that have been to this cult and consider to have children of their own should take some kind of class before having children because of learning so many wrong things at SRF. A child grewing up with this kind of teaching could get seriously mentally ill. The teaching is more like a mental abuse thou they dont get a proper consept of reality from the beginning.
In my opinion a spiritual teaching should not be a ongoing thing 24/7, it should be on Sundays, this is enough time for spirituality. Also children should have time together with their parents and be able to meet their grandparents. It is important for a persons identity to see where they come from. Also it is important to learn proper language for identity. I belive it is important for children to play with other children their own age almost every day and to go outside and play in the fresh air and sunshine for some time. Another thing that is important is proper food, vitmins and healthcare. The children at SRF never got any dental care that I saw, they never got health care or vitamins. The did not see other children often and there was never enough time for them to go to the park to play regulary. This is even though there was a lot of people there every day and so many of the ministers had cars and actually would have benefited from helping out once in a while taking one or two of them out. The children had to sacrifice their parents for the teaching being accused of playing games to stop their parents from taking the important teaching, but the cult did not give anything back to them. For me working there 24/7 there for some time with little resourses it was almost impossible to satisfy all needs. A house has to be clean, children had to be feed and laundry had to be done. I did go out with them sometimes, but it is not easy with tree children and one of them defiant, walking out in the streets. Of course lack of attention from parents and a boring life has en effect. I know things changed later on in the History of SRF, but not really for the better, it got worse. I know that there was a school called Yin Yang school that one of the children went to for tree days a week for a period of time and he enjoyed it, becaue there he meet other children his own age. But this school was not for a long time. I dont know about this school, if it was any good. I asked Peter what he did there and he said that he and his friend Gregor jumped on and of a table wich was a lot of fun. Sounds like a real boring school to me. I think that this Yin Yang school was some branch of the Berkely Psycic intitute school and that some ministers there had their children in this school.

Church going

2010-10-03T14:10:00.000-07:00

Today I go to a Christian church regulary. I have cut out all the new age stuff out of my life and it sure feels good. I used to be good at astrology and tarot cards but I have dumped all that stuff. I had reiki healing diplomas from classes and others that I dumped. Also I had gems, rings, braceltes and necklaces that I dumped in the trash years ago. A lot of money went down in the trash can. I am so glad to get rid of all that stuff and it does not tempt me again. I have also stopped seeing sience ficition movies. After I cleard my bookshelf and music and threw away the last stuff from new age and other negative influences I started to get a more harmonious home. Im very happy with my life, being a Christian person now. I feel I get healed for real now.
Before I bought all kinds of new age stuff and neded more and more, now it is not like that anymore. I like to watch movies that are more real now, this is good for my psyche. If I watch something that is unreal, then my psycke has to deal with and prosess all of that and I want to save my brains from that kind of mental waste products.
I feel I am very mentally stable now, I think anyone can be, one just have to live right, to become menally stable. My experience from SRF and other similar cults is that they can make you very menally unstable, they break you down menally. All those cults break people down, all those exercises that are part of their programme are actually dangerous. I know that I could have died if I had continued there. I know that the ministers in those cults dont actually know what they are doing, if they had known or feelt any responsibility they would not have let someone like me work there at all. I have crohns deasese and the stress that was put on me was to much. I know that several people that have been there have become seriously ill after some time and that one or two killed themselves. This is the way it is with cults.
I would advise others to not play with new age or anything like it, it is a waste of time and can make a very bad impression on your life, it can cost you more than you ever expected. I belive that there are forces in the spirit world, I have feelt them, but I have never feelt that they did do anything good for me, they just complicated my life.
As I was younger I went to a woman that was a famous medium here in Sweden. She was sucsessful and had been in some magazines. This woman was married and had small children, one day I heard that she had comitted suicide for no reason. Also I had a friend that was a medium, she became an alcoholic and lost her children. This is not a decent life and one should not play with this kind of things. Many peole have had their lifes destroyed.

How to leave

2010-10-02T20:16:00.000-07:00

When I tried to leave the cult I was not hindered, no. They even told me that I should leave sometimes, but when I did I was warned that I probably wouldnt survive out there. I would not manage. The best way was to stay and start all over again with new classes. I would have to take the year programme in a longer time, about tre years. This actually gave me cold feet and late I left anyway. It was not a clear road out. There were many tours before I was on the road of freedom. Since they ministers I worked for had left and open up a new school a few blocks away, my journey in psycic studies ended there. I left and went home. Even at home I was considering going back, because nobody would understand me and I still belived in a lot of the teachings of SRF. I was sent of to a deprogramming place in germany called Johanneshof. These deprogrammers worked for the gouvernment as part of social service. One of them, Dieter, had left to go to India to be a member of Children of God, a very destructive cult. For skipping out on military service he had to do social service to the gouvernment. This guy was very fucked up by the cult. I meet others that had been in different sects and cults. One Swedish guy who had been in Rev Moons cult and one german guy that had been a sect member in Hare Krishna. Also there was one woman who had been with a guru. As having been in SRF, I was a snob, I did not care much about the others, that I also thought had been cult members, but me, I had not. I just thought I was someone that had been in a teaching and that these people did not understand that. The deprogramming did not have much effect on me. In my opinion the deprogramming did not have much to give. I would have put it differently if I had worked in a place for deprogramming. But this was many years ago and perhaps they did not have much knowledge then.
I think that it is important to show films and movies on the topic to those who have been in cults. To read books about cults and sects and to meet people that have left and can critizise the cult. For deprogramming it is also important to teach about what a cult is and how they work for those that have been involved, otherwise the person might just go into another cult again afterwards. Then one must remember that there might have been other underlying reasons for joining a cult and this can be important to deal with. Mabye the person was ill and sought a way to feel better or they had family problems before they joined. Many people join when they suffer a life crizes.

Head jumping

2010-09-23T13:45:00.000-07:00

One of the things that one could get accused of was headjumping or that you would try to get into somebody elses head. You could alse have a minister telling you that somebody was trying to get into your head. Well how do you jump into someone elses head?
THis is totally crazy, it was too crazy for me to understand. Anyway, I hve found out a way to get into someones head, there is one way, you read a book! In some books you can follow the protagonistst thoughts sometimes. This is the only headjumping that can happen. If you are a member in a psycic cult and someone is in your head, means that you yourself is thinking of someone, most probably.
This is just one of many stupid things that they even used as an exuce for flunking someone out of the school (cult). They would use whateve non provable exuse to throw people out when they where finnished with them.
As I have become a christian I feel that the whole thing with this cult was from the start like a satanist cult. The way that they treat their children or that the leaders threat the children and other people.

Full stop!

2010-09-21T07:45:00.000-07:00

Well, I didnt make one of my tests and I cant coninue school this semester, but thats fine, Ill have more time for this blogg and for reading about different cults in the bay. One of my problems is that I have had big migraine attacs last semester and missed a lot. When one goes to University one can not skip one day, so this is the reslult of migraine attacks every week for half a year.
Still today I am not cheated any more, that beings are trying to take over my body or that it is my mothers fault. Accusations like this were common at the cult. The cure was healings of course and aslo meditation could help. You needed this and that. The thing is that headace and other problems came back after a while.
Certain things you have to live with, and they are not anybody elses fault. You can try to change your lifstyle or go to have akupunkture or something else if you can afford it. For me, I have tried some herbal theas now, that seems to healp a little. I started to fast as well this week. When I fast I always feel better, just the first days are a little harder.
I remember that the cult ministers not only gave healings, they also gave health advise, good ones to start with but later the advise started to decline.
I dont know what it is like there now at the cult, I dont think it is any better, because of the teaching. Rev. Bill was a charismatic person, he was really a con artist. There was a lot of mysticism around him, he was sensitive and you had to tip on toes when he was there. I remember that minister students had to write a journal about their lives I think. He read them, so he had control of each and everybody, also people connected to the cult.
I remember special tasks for minister students to do. Sometimes to go away for a few days and stay in a hotel with someone they didnt know well. I think this was to try to brake peoples marriages and relations.
Bill was that kind of minister that could get very angry and sound just like a demon, one was a little afraid of him. I think many women were afraid of him. The bad thing is that many were stuck there with a partner or in some other way. In my case I did not get payed for work I did, otherwise I would have moved out a lot earlier, but were does one go without money?

My healing

2010-09-03T05:37:00.000-07:00

I remember getting healings and paying for cearin things to happen, like for instance having problems sleeping.
Well I have had some problems sleeping, but now I have bought a small bag of lavender, it was not more difficult than that, it works a lot better than a healing and I sleep real well.
To sleep is important otherwise one gets a boad jugement. In many cults they dont want you to get enough sleep, since the want to take advantage of you. Whit a poor judgement you are easier to manipulate. This is why they say that meditation is important and that you dont need so much sleep if you meditate. In Hare Krishna they say the same about vegetarian food and chanting in front of the deties. I stayed with the Hare Krishans one week years ago and they start up early in the morning chanting, having breakfast and then they do Krishna service, wich is the same thing as working. I remember also that I was tired like one dickhead when I left and that meditating and Vegetarian food was not someting that can substitute sleep.
In Jehovas Vittnes sekt they say that reading the bible and going to the meatins gives you enegry, I would say I got a back ace and gained weight, sitting there for hours several times a week and also having meatins at home, very often eating donuts and drinking coffe. I did study for them for some years and I sure did increase in cercumference. Before that i was outdoors a lot so there was a big change.
Among the best things I have done in my life is taking responsibility of my own life and creating it myself, not leaving it up to someone else to decide. Sometimes one is tired and down, but most of the time life is great and creative. I like going to University and taking care of my cats. I also like to travel sometimes, even if it is short travesl in my own country. The only thing that limits my life is bad economy actually, but I hope for a change in that in the soon future. I can feel my health is getting better and better, because I can take care of myself now, someting that is not possible in a cult. I hope for a god job in the near future and possibilities to go ahead with some of my plans. If I had been in a cult I could not have made plans for my own life.
I have a Cattery breeding Sacred Birman cats, I hope for being able to by a small house and to start a kennel. Mabye ill have a fosterhome too, If it suits the social office, but I guess it will. I have crohns desease and also being in a cult have not made life to easy.

Trying now

2010-08-23T20:41:00.000-07:00

I might have Candida, I am going to try to get rid of it by dieting for about two months. This Candida gives me head aces and makes me tired and so on. But I dont kxow, I ll see when the diet is done. Mabye the head aces is due to other reasons, like reading about old times at the cult. What the cult has done to others is really awful. It is so awful and terrible that it is beyond my emagination. How can a person have such a twisted mind like rev. Bill had and how come the ministers there now dont close the place down.
U.S is a free country, how can people there get involved and belive in something like that. In California there are nice hospitals and great doctors and still SRF have students that belive that the society is against them and that they need to be at SRF to get freedom. This is crazy.
I tell those people that are there - Leave! You have nothing to gain.
Being a psycic is not an appriciated occupation in society, not because people are evil, it is because it has never been in any religion. Psycics have been outcasts for thousands of years. To be a psycic means that you are a little bit crazy and in religion it those people are possesed by demons.
In magizines in my country you can find those ads for psycic readnings among the ads for sex chat, this is their status.
A handful people makes it a psycics, this is because most of them are not so good at what they are doing. In my country we have a few that are on tv sometimes, even them are not always right. Many things that they convey are not really someting that you can check out either, so whats the point?
I dont understand that someone would want to risk their life for getting a useless education, like at SRF. Obviosly it takes people over there a lot longer than a year to become a minister in the year programme. I never got that far, but I remember, because I wanted to take the year programme, I thought that that was the chance of a life time. Im happy it never ended up that way, because I dont think that I would still be alive then.
Well we see in two months time, after the diet, I really hope it is candida, because that will easier.

Sommer is over soon

2010-08-15T12:00:00.000-07:00

Sommertime is soon over here in Sweden, and I still have a few tests in English that I have to do. I did not sucseed the last semester, because of a lot of migreens partly because my apartment is soo cold and awful in vinter and too hot in summertime. But still, the last year have been very rewarding and I have learned a lot about my life in the US and what effect the cult have done to me. I also have learned lots and lots of Enlish that I should have learned a long time ago when I was in the U.S, but instead i spent all my time working in that cult wich had absolutely no outcome at all. The only thing it has done is making me pissed off and given me more migreens.
Today I spend time trying to break down what I bouilt up, that was wrong, I dont want any part in other peoples suffering. Nobody can ever take from me, work or money, give nothing and use whatever asset I put in there to use for them if they dont give back to society. I have my own morals, I deal with things in this manner.
As i have mentioned earlier I have a Swedish blogg in an evening magazine where I have told about the cult earlier and also about the branch of this cult in Sweden. I had a classmate in school that had lost her father to this cult. The cult starting to ferment all over, I think I better tell my side of the story. All this about justifying using other people with a past life that only the very psycic minister and user can see. You did this in a past life so you suffer - When the trouth is there might not be a past life and no future life eather. Like one of my lecturers said, the trouth is that those who are dead just lie and rot in their graves, well this is what we know for sure.
Anyway I hope that this teaching will stop and that the psycic schools will have to close down. It is not right that people that have families should be dragged into something stupid like that. Some people had nice jobs and lifes before they started and some never started a life outside SRF because they where to young when they entered. It is very hard to be older and leave whitout a normal life behind also.
I really hope that people that have relatives in the cults will have a use of the bloggs written about what is going on there.

Spiritual Rights foundation

2010-08-14T21:35:00.000-07:00

Yes, yes yes!
I read in the webbsite of SRF all fantastic features of rev. William Duby, wich is Rev Bill. He used to be called Big Rev, the head of SRF. All the fine features is not irl though. I dont recall any of that. He was not nice with children as it also says, no sorry.
"Freedom is the essence of life" Well I have never been to a place with less freedom, and I come from a socialist country. I dont even think that a communist contry with communist leaders could be worser, in Alabania for instance, people still choose by themself who to get married to or if they want to divorce. My Ukranian friend told me about Ukrain in the worst socialist era, but no such control as in SRF.
I know that the leaders at SRF who makes the desicions say that it is all on a spiritual level, but I know that they have made many people unhappy. What about the children that loose their parents? Are their spirit of no spiritual value?
The leaders at the spiritual organisations have many exuses for doing whatever they want to break people apart and to mismatch them. This is an old tric also you can find some about it if you read machiavelli you can learn more about breaking up people so that you can have power as a leader. This is a leader tecnique that have been used by bad leaders many times in many differnt countries to devide and rule.
Anyway this is almost Satanist things Im telling about, but on the other hand the church of Satan also is in the same branch, they also practise spiritism, as I have said earlier it all comes from old teaching of "The golden down" one of the first spiritual cults and sects that started in Great Britain. Then it was spread to other cults and had members like Ron Hubbard that started Scientology society and Alister Mc Crowley who started the first church of Satan in England. Now it even exist a church of Satan in the bay area, as if there was not enough problems.
Some Satanist kill animals, and I have even heard that they offer people to Satan in rituals, it should be a naive person, a child or so. Then they belive that the spirit of the animal or child will obey them. It will be like their helper to go and help them on a spirit level. Can you se the connection to SRF having healing guides helping you. When I started to realize this I feelt that spiritusm is so wrong, it is very close to being a Satanist, it has the same ground. If you are a beliver this is not a good belife. Stay away from spiritism, nothing good comes out of it, that is my advice.
To those considering SRF, leave, dont waste your time there is nothing to gain from this belife. There are good books to read about the topic at the library, wich SRF staff will want you to avoid, this is because if the story is revialed then there is no use gooing there. You can read a book in two days and it will include about ten times more than you learn in a year at SRF period.

Anger!

2010-08-03T04:23:00.000-07:00

Those members that was in SRF and those who still are there might think that I have a lot of hate for them, writing this blogg. I would say no, not as much anger that one could have for having gone trought this. I pretty much have forgiven a whole lot of it. Some things are too big to forgive for a human, only Christ can help you heal and forgive. But it was long time ago and everybody there sufferd this awful teaching. Those who were mean to me at the end have paid their prize to as I can understand, so why blame them for being in the same cult as I was. I did also hurt people when I was there and afterwards.
I feel sorry for some people that belived a lot in this and especially some of the women that were to mentally weak to say no the the abuse they were put through. I think that the women suffered the most except for the children, but I know some of the men also where abused by rev. Bill.
To tell about what happend helps me, because just to have gone throught some wierd cult that did all of this to me and others because of a belife that is secret makes me tired, I am tired of this garbage now. In my country these kind of cults started to grow in the middle of the -90 ties. I am not connected to them anymore, I started to take care of my own life not being dependent on a cult, and it is so much better. I would recommend everybody that are in a cult to do the same. There are many good things in life to experience by oneself. I can do yoga if I want to or meditate from a casette borrowed from the libraray, I can go out yogging or take a swim and a hot tub at the pool, I can read books and educate myself either in a school or by myself. I tried vegetarian food for some time and did intestinal cleance, I did a rebirthing with breathing exercice too. I have done many things since I stopped being a slave under some cult. One nice thing I did was that I went to La Gomera, one of the Canary Island and we walked in the mountains, it was a great experience, we stayed for two monthts time in the sunshine, when it was cold and nasty here in Sweden, in the late autoumn.
Life is definetley better whitout a cult and i can afford a great dentist too, even though I am not rich.
I think that those cults should close up and mabye some of the leaders still there need some psyhicatric care I dont know, but my guess is so. To just cut of the cord between their children and the fathers of their children and bring them up to think that that is the way it is supposed to be, is not normal, then there is something wrong with those women still there.

Other Cults

2010-08-01T20:53:00.000-07:00

There are many cults, in the U.S there are very many. Jehovas witness, Hare Krishna, Moon church, Church of Mormon and Scientology are a few of them. Jehovas withess belive in the bible, but they have their own books that are read in superior to the bible and the bibile is a reference. Selected parts are pointed out from the bible to prove that their teaching is true. Some things that one christian cult say is not ok is ok in another, like christian healing and many other things. Then there are UFO cults and cults that practice a lot of new age stuff, witch is a mixture of religions and new belifes. For instance I heard a version that humnas are said to have come here from anohter planet, that is one theory of evulotion. They say that There is a planet that has an eclipce that comes close to the earth every 2000 years and that people come down to this planet then with new enlightened wisdom to share with us. Hare Krishna is just a hindu cult that practice hindu traditions and belive in the Indian god Krishna, but it is still a cult, people work hard there.
I remember the times in the eighties when rasjnesh was big, the sex cult. In SRF they had a couple that came in, they had left Rasjnesh. Rasjnesh was also called Bagwan. Many people catched HIV being in that cult and Rasjnech was sent back to India where he was sent to live on one Island. Later he died and many of his followers see him as a martyr. He was killed by the society that was jeoluos of his sucess and did not understand what a wounderful man he was. Well this I dont know about, I was not there, but still many people died from AIDS there too.
Some cults are not so bad, in fact in my country the Catholic church is a cult, but to me it is just a common church. Many people here dislike the Catholic church, they blame their priests for being pedofile. In my opinion they just forget what the protestant church have done erlier, the protestant church had many pastors that agreed with the Nazis during WWR 2, some even clamed that Jesus was a Nazi. I meet a woman that is a born Catholic, her parents forigners, and she have had some troulbe with the government here. They took her daughter away from her, and put her in a foster home, so she can grew up and become sane I suppose.
Some cults are dangerous thou, one man that left a cult had his child killed by cult members. Some cults commit crimes on the society. One cult is the Al-Quida that has about 100 000 members and some that are educated in there can become independent. They form cellgroups, like those that did the attac on September 11. One of the reason that such groups can exist is that there is a lot of people living in poverty in camps with no future and no hope. These people find hope in this cult that initially offers them education and a decent life, after many years things change for them as they become brainwashed. These cult leaders use the religion to reach their terrorist goals. These groups are terrorists groups actually.
You never know what you get into if you get involved in a cult, In SRF for instance they had some porn buisness going on. I am not so surprised, I heard som gossip already when I stayed there, that rev. Bill actually had been a pimp before he became an enlightened member at the Berkely psycic institute. Some men in his generation had Hugh Hefner as a raw model. For those who belive in god and so on, many cults are like this, they have some not so ok sidebuisness.

Female class

2010-08-01T00:11:00.000-07:00

I think I took it twice, yes. The females are said to have a very strong energy that is so bright. This is because the female babymaker as they would express it. She is reduced to a baby making machine. Can you emagine that?
Onyle females in female class of course. The female energy is lika a broom turned uppside down, it has layers in it like the aura. If you are a female you can have a female reading, the same as an aura reading almost. You will be told about past lifes and other things that block your space. Most of the time it is other peoples energies that block your space because they dont want you to own it. They tremendous female energy does sometimes provoke men if it gets to hig, a man can not run his energy on such a high level.
This is some that I remember from that time. I do not do any female meditation and I have not in years, still my life is ok. The thing is that you are supposed to belive that you cannot live without when you stop these kind of meditations, or you will feel very ill. Well thats not true.
A lot of this stuff is thought to you in meditation, when you are put into trance, almost the same as being hypnotized. The ministers there would say that meditation and hypnotism are two different things. Meditation and hypnostim is very alike, I have taken a hypnotism worskhop class here in Sweden so i know some about it, and it is quite the same. This is why they really can brainwash people a lot throught meditation without that you really know what is happening. What you are thought in a hypnotized state goes very deep into your psyche and becomes very real to you, it reaces your subconsious. This is why people that join SRF get so stuck. Small messages that you hardly notice during class is planted into your mind, this is how you become mind controlled by the leaders, a very serious crime is done to you. I do not think that they law can deal with it eather, since belive and free will to go to this cult witch is a church that takes donations. See this is a little more complicated than the old laws that should be uppdated can deal with or solve.

Recorded

2010-07-26T10:16:00.000-07:00

The meditation and healingclasses was most of the time recorded. I dont know what for, but my guess would be that the head ministers would listen to them and see if they could find something remarcable in peoples minds.
At first when I meditated I didnt feel comfortable to get into trans, I did not like shutting of the outside word, to put the attention inward. It feelt like something could happend to me, not watching around. During meditation the teacher would lead us, give instructions and also ask questions. I dont remember all what was said, but I remember that they started to record it. Mabye they still keep those tapes like some kind of evidence of something. They would also record the readings that they did. I got some student readings, and I thougt it was fun at start, but they tried to appeal to my vanity, by saying that I had been a queen in Egypt in an earlier life ha ha ha ha ha. Well they were psycic and I had fun. I remember religious jokes, but I come from a country whitout wery much religion so I did not really understand what was fun.
Sometimes I thought that mabye the recording was to intimidate students, that they would have you on tape and that they could use something against you. After some time in SRF I started to not care, because I thougth that they would have loads of tape with mostly a lot of bullshit to go through anyway, and might not find what they would be looking for.
I think that some people migt be afraid that the leaders have something on them, that they feel snared and trapped but most probably recording is more of a scary techinque that they use.
I have been recorded in other places and situations but I never let it intimidate me. I do not know why, but mabye it is because I try to be sincere so that nobody can have anything on me. For me it is most important to be sincere since I do not want to get into any trouble. Still if someone is trying to make trouble anyway, then one has to deal with that conflict and not to be to afraid, after all they recorded you didnt they. They recorded without your consent many times, because they had a secret motive.

where we came from

2010-07-15T09:52:00.001-07:00

As a member of SRF you are special, you have been a incarnated spirit in the lost city of Atlantis in a previous life. This is the reason you have ended up in SRF. Most people that are members or connected with a spritual teaching of that dignity have had previous lifes at Atlantis.
Atlantis was a city of hight technology and great spiritual knowledge. People that lived there had great knowledge. For some reason the city vanised with all the knowledge and no one knows where it is. Their is sign in your hand that shows if you where there.
You can also watch Walt Disneys movie about it, Im sure of that it will explain a lot to you. For me, I have seen that sign in the hand of many people in different places on the planet, my russian friends working in Greece had it too.
This is an example of love bombing and to temt you by telling an enigma. This is just one of the enigmas in SRF, there are many other stories cirkulating in that cult. Other cults as well talk about Atlantis.

Blogging is great!

2010-07-14T23:38:00.000-07:00

Reading bloggs about SRF and other cults in the same branch is great. For me living in another country it is very helpful. Writing blogg also feels great, because it feels important to tell about what has happend before I become to old to forget or before I die. The blogg is probably always going to be there, unless I take it away, and the good thing about that is that this is my information about what has happend to me, not someones elses story about me. Roumors have been cirkulating around earlier and people get the wrong picture.
Another thing about the blogging is that it feels so good to let go of all the secretive information that one has been carrying around for years.
To read others bloggs confirms a lot about what one has been exposed to and also validates ones feelings about the whole thing. It feels like a lot of burdens have been taken of my shoulders. To just rekonsider a lot of things that I learned at SRF that has been blocing my mind for years. I go through the teaching bit by bit and scrutinize and check out the inpact on my life and realize what it has done to me, then I think about other strategies in life. Things that I have been told at SRF by ministers I can put aside, it can not influense my life any more.
I can tell everybody that are involved in a cult that it feels great to leave the old teaching and to get a life instead.
When I was in Berkely it was in the 80-ties and computer was not in every home. Blogging did not exist as far as I know, and I dont think that cults like SRF consider that in the future. Now the bloggs will make a great impact to SRF and other cults the same whay that they have impacted peoples way, that is something I would call, - Karma is a bitch!

How they cheat!

2010-07-06T14:54:00.000-07:00

In these psycic schools a lot of the teachings are simple things that we can learn from an ordinary magazine. I think that Cosmopolitan can teach you more actually.t
Sorry, but psycic institutes are not more spiritual than that. 25 % of what the cult teaches is good, of course -How else would they attract people? If they were only teaching out a lor of shit they would not exist. Some of the tings you learn you can benefit from. But the fact that about the other 75% is bull and a waste of energy, money and time is what makes you a looser when you decide to take on their teaching. I think that becoming a member of such a cult is like starting to use drugs. Drugs are not at all god for people, exept for morfin that is used in hospitals and very good for people that suffer incredible pain.
Being in a cult is destructive. The leaders replace your family with them, the difference is that they dont care about you, the have you like a cow that they can milk. When the milk is gone you will be worn out and thrown out. The cult dont take care of you, they dont care about you, they want to get rid of you. The cult can do terrilbe tings to get what they want and they can do terrible tings to get rid of you. They will go as far as they can. Whit some people they can go quite far, with some they can not, it all depends on the persons status and background. This is way different people get different treatment in there.
When it comes to me, they could take it very far though I was not an american citizen, I would just have to go back home to Sweden, and be forgotten. When this happend in the middle of the eighties, they did not consider internet. So they did not consider that I would never be able to tell my story or what I experienced.
Many tings I can still not tell, because I do not have words for it.
I am so sorry to have to tell that they tryed to make me hurt people around me, mabye even try to kill someone. Those who did this was some of the leaders of SRF. I also remember considering suicide, having been assisted to think that my life was nothing, just energy. They body is just the house of the spirit, it is just energy. Nothing ever dies, it just goes on, the spirit is eternal and that is what counts.
I remember having a nervous breakdown. I remember that everything was very dark for some time. I am not a negative person, I am not a depressed person. I do not have mental problems, if I had things would have ended far worse than they did.
I think the reason that they couldnt break me more than they did, is that I am from a country that is differnt that the U.S, a country where people still are not as free and you learn how to deal with that early, and how to still keep your own thinking no matter what the leaders say. When I was in the states sometimes I feelt so strong compared to other people, I feelt my mind was very different. I remember that some people I meet on the outside of SRF and learned to know a little also commented that I was very different from Americans. To grew up in Europe is not a game, and I rememger Bill screaming a lot at me in the end being totally mad. Rev. Bill who had been in the Vietnam war. I guess it scared the shit out of him that he could not control me, that I would be defiant. But I guess I was not the first nor the last person he treated in that mannor.
Then he would sit around and say and talk shit about the person, the person had beings around them, the person was playing head games, the person was sending energies to him blocking his space and so on. The trouth is that they just see that they can not use you any more and they dont want you around then.

Uppdated

2010-06-28T11:33:00.000-07:00

So I got uppdated about what has been going on in the SRF, not that I really need to or that it is important for my life, but still. I have spent time there, and the stupid thing that is part of the teaching is not to question tings or to bother. But in my mind that is very negative. If you dont care about what is going on around you then you must be psychotic or someting like it. In Hitlers Germany that was they did.
I dont know if anyone in California now that much about that, what happend in Germany, but here we learn so much about that that we get tired of hearing about it. The sad thing is when a cult leader behave like some of the nazis did or have some similar rules. Being secretive and controlling is the features of a very bad dictator actually, and I know it already then.
In the SRF academy at leas many members where so brainwashed that I got scared sometimes, they could have joined the nazi movment as well. It is dangeouros when people get that unaware. I know that California has great schools, so thats not the problem, mabye many people smoke to much pot, or skip school.
Being a member in SRF is not to get a prosperous life, my life has been a wreeck after working for an SRF family and taking classes.
I most definetely recomend those who consider classes at any spiritual institute to reconsider. Money should be spent on something constructive, not something like a spiritual teaching in a cult. They can not teach you anything that you have use for in life, except becoming a scam. Take your money, get a real degree or go for vacation if you already have a degree. Do whatever, dont just waste yourself and your money at a spiritual cult. If you feel you have extra money give to the poor, or to greenpeace or some other organisation.
I have lived a life in poverty all my life as a grown up because of that I was in SRF in the first place. I wasted all my energy and assets there with those people. Working, working and working not eating enough food, not getting enought sleep, not being able to afford anything that is essential. My health was wasted and I ended up in hospital. I also have a bad reputation after this and it is difficult for me to get a normal job with a paycheck. So now i go to school, after that I dont know, mabye when I have a degree I move away from my country again. I want to have a carrier, thats whay I went abroad in the first place. I like working and earning money. I dont see that opporturnity here because of all that has happend. I think maby I will go to England, New York or Chicago. One thing is for sure and that I know, I will never get into a cult or sect again. By now I know a lot about it.
There are lots of cults and sects that look for victims. It is easy to fall into their trap they guide you in bit by bit with their teachings. For ordinary workers and poor people some of the sects seem to give some hope. But the cults are the worst ones. Cults are usually smaller groups that have not been around for so long time.
I just think about the cult that the family that I was with started, the man getting lots of women and children that he dont take care of. Living some sort of polygamist life can be very destructive.

Midsommer celebration

2010-06-25T06:39:00.000-07:00

Here we celibrate midsommer, an old heaten tradition from the viking time. People eat a lot of food and rise a midsommer pole that is supposed to symbolise a big fallos actually. This fallos was for great harvest in the viking time. Then families and oldies dance around the midsommer pole and later in the evening youngsters celibrate by getting drunk to revive the viking behavior.
I have made a lot of food today and my secound cousin is comming over. We are going to have dinner here at my place. Mabye later in the evening I will go for a walk up on the mountain to have a look at the midsommer pole and if there is any parying still going on there. I migth also visit some friends that live on the mountain.
This is common Swedish life, with celibrations and week ends like that.

Nice chat

2010-06-21T11:33:00.000-07:00

This morning I had the opporturnity to chat with Michael Kawahara. This enlighened me about later happenings after I had left SRf and what had been going on at that time. It also brought larger understanding for those people at SRF behaving badly and I could even feel sorry for some of the SRF followers and members. I also feel that it is a tragedy that people still are there and continue running this cult. Now I see all the people there as victims. I think that if someone opens up a church it is very important to follow the Bible or whatever holy scripture that is significant and not to go around the scripture. A church should not be opened for money making buisness, a church should not run a pornbuisness, ministers should not have a liqour store or be into gambeling. People at SRF were mean and not spiritual at all, many perverted and lived filthy lifes.
I think that everyone that got involved deluted their spirituallity in one way or the other. Many people there were nice at start, but later became real wicked. I think that we all that were there paid a high price. Many that stayed for years had marriages that were arranged between people that would not normally get involved at all at request from the leader. Marriages that later broke for natural reasons and sometimes children that were produced in those relationships that did not have a healty foundation at all were stuck in the middle between one parent staying at SRF and one that left.
Many peole had their lifes destroyed totally, even people that shouldnt, children and relatives. Some people that are totally brainwashed are still there, working getting more people drawn into their muck.

And again!

2010-06-12T03:03:00.000-07:00

I want to bring this subject up again, for those looking into a cult to solve their personal life problems. There are better sulotions for finding great realtionships than to go to start taking classes in a cult to improve ones life. I know a lot of people have problems with abusive relationships and other similar things. If you are in an abusive relationship, I belive nothing is going to make it better, so it is just to get out of it. Places like SRF and BPI breakes up realationships wheter they are god or bad.
But for those who need adwise there is a great site for women http://dontdatehimgirl.com/home/ that can be useful. This is a U.S. site and you can tell on bad relatiships and read about what other have experienced. You can also get a lot of adwice and others. Unfortungately living in Europe I cant join this site. I wish I could, because my ex Mr X witch is now living in the U.S. is a very abusive person that uses women like if they were a pice of toilet paper. He also was into spirituality, wich craft, woodo, and astrology. He was like rev Bill a lot and critizes everything I did. He never saw anything god in me, when I stopped smoking he did not even mention it, but he was very fast in nagging me for all kind of things that he could think of. He also snared me into a lot of his buisness and it was difficult to get out of his grip, it took a lot of time and effort to get back to an ordinary life again.
For some reason mr X decided to move to the bay, I dont know why, it seems like he wanted to have what I had, or my life, so he left Sweden for S.F. and is now living in another part of California, where he uses women.
I remember that he was very wierd one year when he had fallen in love with Susan Sullivan (an actress) and was watching her on Falcon Crest on tv every time that show was on, and I was like air then. He would sit and make comments about that, that is what a woman should be like and so on. I got scared I think he was a bit fucked up, like rev. Bill. I thougth mabye he goes to her house and tries to get in touch with her like a maniac. He was totally possesed with her.
So there are several of those men, that are like that and they seem to have a lot mental probems in common. I just hope that something can be done about this one, because I know he will try to find other women that he will abuse In the same way. He is a real ugly motherfucker. I know that he has love connection ads out almost all the time, looking for serious relationships, he has had those for more than twenty years. So he is active. I remember that he was a sexaddict as well, buying a lot of pornmagazines and videos. It is so sad, that people looking to live a serious life with spirituallity become victims of this abusive people witch uses them on all they have and leve them with nothing. This kind of people spreding chaos around them are very active, and thats way I think it is so sad, they destroy many peoples lifes.

Men without muscles

2010-06-07T11:14:00.000-07:00

Reading Steven Sanchez book, wich is very amusing, I just have to mention the men at SRF. I feelt a lot of negativity towards women at the "Academy" wich was justified by the female energy that women would have. Many women went to SRF, even thou men were more favored by the leaders of course. In San Fransisco there was a lot of opporturnitys for women at that time, most of my friends went to college for instance. But to be at SRF was to go back in time, this mostly because of Rev. Bill, but I also think because of rev Angela that was kind of oldfashioned. So women at SRF where surpressed. There were a lot of comments about the way the women looked, but the men, some of them could have several women, without taking care of their looks at all. The worst would be Rev Bill that had big brown false teeth that he did not brush.
Many of the men at SRF were not exactly a rosebud, no, they were bad smelling, sloppy dressed and most of the time not nice at all. They did not look at all like those sexy guys you see in a Coca Cola commercial on tv, no, there was no tan, no muscles and no shiny teeth. Many of them were overweight wich is not strange after been sitting awake all night meditating. I just dont understand how they could expect the women to do better, meditation, being awake at night and having no money.

Are there psycics?

2010-06-06T14:30:00.000-07:00

I think so, I thinkt that some people are born withe that gift. I just dont think it is something you can become if you dont already have the gift. Mabye it is possible to become more aware and to listen to ones intution by training, but I do not feel that that is what those psycic shools can contribute to. Still I would not recomend it, because there is so many better things to do, and I have meet psycics that have suffered a lot. The life as a psycic is very depresssing and awful. I remember one medium told me that after there was a great accident, a boat went down in the baltic sea. This boat was "Estonia" and many died. So my friend the medium worked and a lot of people came to find out the last hours of their relatives, and she had to dig into their dying at sea. My friend started to drink a lot and got depressed. I have heard that mediumship wastes the kidneys a lot to, because of getting forgeign energies into the body all the time.
Reading the Bible it is not adwised or approved at all to do this kind of things. In one of the chapers one woman reads people, but she is possesed by a reading demon and she gets healed whe this demon is thrown out. This kind of demons posseses and interfere with peoples lifes. I dont know if they are just there in peoples unconsious mind. I have had spiritual experiences that was not so good, and I think staying whith the bible is the best.
My friend that was a medium went to a treatment home for alcoholics. I have meet one more medium in Stocholm that I went to once, later I heard that she had comitted suicide, whithout having a good reason actually.
Mostly thou, I think most of it is just mumbo jumbo, that some people try to make money from.

Mommys boy

2010-06-05T10:40:00.000-07:00

By the way, reading Michael Kawaharas blogg i remembered the ministers I worked for. The man was very ill, but he would hide it. He had some illness on his lungs, and was very weak. One thing I have realised later is that he was also very mentally weak, he was a mammas boy, and Im sure of that this is what atracted him to the ministers at SRF. He obviously needed a father figure. So Rev. Bill and Harpreet became that for him. In SRF he was obviously encuraged to have other women than his wife (very common in SRF) and to neglect his family of course.
Michael had a nice personality, he was friendly, but not very smart. He left his wife while she was pregnant with their tird child. Later Linda started the ministers training at SRF too. I started to work in their home shortly after.
I still dont understand that Linda would go to the group that had taken her husband away in that manner, I would have been pissed of at the whole group. I see Michael as a very weak man that left his wife and small children. I dont think that a strong man would have done that. We sometimes hear about wierd people on TV and on the news, but in reality it is not so common. This what Michael did was really fucked up. If people leave their family, usually it is when the children are a bit older. For children that loose their parents in young age, it is a big trauma. This is wat SRF ministers had him to do, now what proffesionals is that. The woman he left Linda for was one of the ministers at the SRF academy, and he could do better without. He traded his whole successful life and marrige for this.
The academy took his money and threw him out later togheter with Janice, his new minister wife. Linda was still in the academy, but when they could not earn any money from her, they threw her out as well. Out on the street with tree children, Linda, who had lived in a big nice villa in one of the luxury areas outside S.F.
So with her only degree as a minister in SRF, she had to seek to live in Michael and Janice house at Dana street. They would take her in with Lindas and Michaels children of course. Then Michael decided to start his own psycic school. I dont know if they are still there. I remember I visited them many years later when I was in the bay. Michael have done exactly like his "Daddy" Rev. Bill, he has had several women who he also has many children with, to spread his spiritual seeds I suppose.

Summer now

2010-06-05T01:27:00.001-07:00

Now it is summertime here. It is the nicest time of the year. Here the nature is differnt than in California. We have four seasons. At night time in the summer it does not get dark and the air is real fresh from all trees starting to awake again.
I have done my tests, but I think that I have to take one or two tests again. It has been an interesting semester thou. I have learned a lot, I sure hope I can take another semester of English. If Im going to take one more semester it is going to be at school, not on internet, I feel I need to be there at school and have teachers that I can meet and talk to.
Im going to go to church, but a real church, I prefer that now a days. I remember the days at SRF compond and it was not god at all in comparison. What a waste of time, and how much work for almost nothing. Of course it could be good to meditate and it can give some help for a few things. It can give you some higher awareness about your body, but not in the way done in SRF.
When I came back to Sweden, about a year after, after I had had surgery, I had difficulty breathing. I decided to take classes in yoga, because it seemed like something good for me, and it was. I have done a lot of yoga at home since then. My health became better. Years later I did Hawaiian Intestine cure, that is the best thing I have done for my health. The intestine cure comes from Hawaii and is very good for the body for all kinds of health problems. I did have intestinal worms and I did get some herbal medecine from one of the best herbalists here in Sweden against that. After this I have not had that much trouble with my intestines, and when I have had troule I have found better ways to take care of it than to end up in hospital. So there is hope and far better ways to get healed than to end up in hospital care or to joing a cult. Today Im very aware of my health and diet. I dont smoke and my life is very much more balanced. One thing also that the ministers teach in the Psycic teaching is not to be an intellectual. This is totally crazy, they want to lower your awareness so that they can use you. Of course it is good to learn a lot, especially when you are young. When you are young normally you should learn a lot, it is normal development, gut here they try to stop you. If I had not been thought that it was not goood I would have learned a lot more by now. When you exercise your brain your thinking becomer more intelligent and you get a higher capacity.
Many of the things that I have learned in school are things that is good to know in life, to manage and to awoid danger. In religious class part 2, that not everone her takes, I have learned about cults ant sekts, but I wish I had learned about it earlier, that would have saved a lot of time, effort and money for me. Anyway, I hope that whatever I have learned so far, will help me to continue my life in a better way, and I know it will. It is fun to learn about how society works, history and religion. What I study now in language is a lot about identity and how important the language is for our indentity. And I also think about that cults have their own language, it is part of the brain washing they take some of your identity away, change it from your familys language and identity. The language is also what you use when you think, so that is one of the ways of getting into your brain to rearrange things, to take away ususal thinking and to repalce it with important things like that you have to clean the leaders house instead of caring about your mothers birth day for instance. your languag is actually very important for you, and can make some one ill and make people end up in all kinds of trouble. I think that in the U.S. it is more important for people to try to keep an indentity since there is so many different groups sharing the country and many has lost their roots already. When you loose your languge and religion, that is a big change, mabye more than we think.
The Ministers at SRF might not seem so smart, but it was not them that developed the teaching, I dont know who did, put some of the people that did must have had some knowledge of how to get into someone elses awareness. To manipulate your language is to manipulate your thinking.
I would suggest for someone who thinks that SRF will offer development to mabye take a trip to the country of their ancestors, becauce that does strengethen identity, or to learn more about that culture and the religion of that or those countries. One might not belive it, but it really makes people stronger and developes many sides of a person rather than to dig into new age, wich can even be destructive. Then it is always good to live healty, that many cults and sekts offer you initially, but not later.
I put a summer picture from my balcony that shows the difference in nature here at summertime.

Test tomorrow

2010-06-01T02:12:00.000-07:00

I just dont know if ill make it, its fonetics and it is not my most interesting subject in English, still it has to be done the same way you have to do dishwashing if you work in a resturant.
I have been mad and culdnt sleep last nigth because things that happend during the time in the U.S.
Things were not ok with my frind that brought me there in the first place and Im mad with her family. I feel so much pain came from there too. So much unfareness and destruction that they would convey.
When people around you just have a lot of pain and evilness to offer you, then you rather of course visit a cult or you start doing drugs like some of my friends did.
My parents did hear a lot if gossip about me that was like 10% true the rest was extra stories made up to make me look worse. My parents dont have a lot of education, they relay on others that they think might have. People that my parents realy on are people like one of my mothers friend that says she is a therapeut but is not, or one of my really fucked up friends that I tried to get rid of for years that says she has read psycology, but has not. Mabye they have read a column in a magazine about psycology, but thats about it. How do I know? -I have read far more psycology thand them and psycology is not even my subject.
The last family i worked for when I was in the U.S. was terrible. They had rats in their big house on Sea Cliff Avenue, and they had a lot of broken pipelines in their house. One day whan I was off work I wanted to take a bath, since there was about tree bathrooms in that house I took one of them. When I plugged out the wather and went downstairs I started to hear the woman screaming " she is destroying my house"I thought what now, and went in to the kitchen and there was wather dripping from the roof. The pipe line was broken, but this was not the first time it had happend, I could tell by the paint that had broken in the roof and the staines that were there.
I know when I was at SRF they had small mice in the apartments too, i found one in the childs be one night.
I dont know if they can carry desease, I have heard that in the U.S. the rats and mice can have bad desease bacterias on them. I think that in the Sea Cliff Villa that I lived they had real rats. I also remember that the woman wanted me to have my own fridge, and of course it was broken, so I had to go out to eat. She didnt like that I left the house at all. This woman was a little older mabye 55 and had children that was a couple of years older than me.
When I lived in this house I had one other job, doing house keeping. I was trying to save money so that I could start the year class. But this never happend, which is fine now.
Many small things in the surroungings are reasons for someone to rather join a cult, for me ny friends starting to use drugs healped, I know that that was not my thing so I decided to go to SRF instead.

Lots to do

2010-05-18T15:17:00.000-07:00

Right now its a lot to take care of. I have a lot to read and sevral tests soon. Very different from being at the SRF where you learn almost nothing. Such vaste of time it was to spend time at SRF or to go to Spiritual rights freedom or any other psycic school.
I did read Stevens book, I get gooseflesh from how perverted life these people can give you. I just came close to perversion, but Im a very difficult person and not so easy to persuade, that they could keep me there for very long.
Got to go back to my duties.

Saved by Jesus

2010-05-10T02:35:00.000-07:00

The cults that teach spiritism like SRF origins from an older cult named Golden Down. This was a cult that teached some christian and jewish magic, they also had Egyptian macic and Celtic, but different leaders did mix in a lot if crap that was taken from different belives.
Many leaders that have started some of the bigger cults and sects have been members of Golden down. Rudolf Steiner, big european cult leader started the Rudolf Steiner Institute, wich also has a branch in the U.S. and Alister Mc Crowley who started the first church of Satan in England where students at Golden down. Another member where Ron L. Hubbard. There are other sects like Jehovas witness and Unification church that base their teaching more on what the bible says than on spiritism.
SRF and others that comes out of Church of devine man, are spiritistic teachings that origins from Golden down. All the new age stuff and a lot of things like forunetelling and astrology has been added as some spice into the new cult.
The Aum cult also was a spiritistic cult, one that belives in spritits, karma and a lot of mumbo jumbo taken from here and there. There is nothing new about it, this is old religious teachings from old guds that is even mentioned in the Bible, Isis for instance is one of the Gods that some people like today, but it is one of the Egyptian Gods that was conquered by Jahve for Moses behalf, when the jews left Egypt.
So if you read the bible thoroughly before you enter a cult you might be saved, thats what I call being saved by Jesus.

Arranged weddings

2010-05-10T01:52:00.000-07:00

So you would like to become a gypsy, being psycic and all. I can tell you that I had one freind that was a real medium. My friend was part gypsy and she have had a terrible life, having been married of to a man choosen by her mother. Gypsies do that often, they have arranged marriges. Most of the times these marriges turn out awful and really terrible. My friend was a real psycic and I will never forget the trancing we did. But she told me that we had to stop this. It is no god to be doing spiritual new age stuff and mediumship trancing. My friend said, one is supposed to follow the Bible, spirituality is dangerous. Her mother used to do a lot of trancing and after some time a lot of problems had occured in the family.
Another thing is arranged marriges, we have seen the bad effect of that. I know that in the psycic schools they ofthen arrange peoples private life as suits them. The leaders decide who is going to be in a relationship with who. Arranged marriages are common in cults.
Among gypsies it is also common, but there often the parents choose cousins for marrige. This is to strengthen the family ties, and sometimes to keep money within the family if its a whealty family. Among the gypsies I think it might also be to preserve the group. But many times this leads to great disaster when retards and stillborns are being born.
To be missmatchen to be with someone not suited to you is enought trouble. I know a loot of people thought that I was stupid enough not to be able to choose a partner of my own, and I know what problems it is when someone else tries to pic a parter for you.
In SRF as in other cults, they will choose someone for you, but what for? This person is not even choosen by your own parents, so it would be even worse for you, when this person dont get along with your family either.
The bible dont approve to arranged marriages, the bible has no text that says that a marriage is supposed to be arranged by any cult leader, priest or even parent. It says that marriage is supposend to be in trouth and spirit , it means that it should be true love, wich makes an arranged wedding to seem more like porn. If you have listen to leaders like Bill and you know about his side buisnesses, I think its time to reconsider your spiritual life and to start to try to understand what freedom actually means.

Invitation

2010-05-10T01:39:00.000-07:00

For everybody that consider to join a new age cult, listen to your heart!

Roxette-Listen to your heart

2010-05-09T18:02:00.000-07:00

Astrology

2010-05-09T16:57:00.000-07:00

I have read Astrology since I was about 9 years old. My secound cousin, Susan here is an astrologer too. What I have learned by myself is that Astrology dont work in the long run. Most people that are in long relationships are people that have negative aspects to each other. How come? - I dont know, I have heard an explanation about that people need excitement. However I just think, forget about astrology, I have, and its not part of most Christian peoples belives.
Im trying now to live like a Christian, and I dont need anyone to tell me how to, I have a bible. The bible is so full of advice and it also says we are not complete, so why bother.
I did put the Swedish Astrology song below, about how the Astrologer destroyes peoples lifes and numerology makes it worse, so that people break up good relationships. So there is the song for everybody that knows Swedish or just wants to listen.

Marcus Öhrn - Astrologen

2010-05-08T01:34:00.000-07:00

The children of a cult

2010-05-07T18:45:00.000-07:00

The children of SRF parents where neglected and abused in a lot of different whays. Also the children had to take part of the teaching. The children was not to be fostered to loose their psycic abilities, wich means that their fantasies where encuraged instead of learning whats real. If there is a ghost under the bed, there is a ghost under the bed and the child is psycic. However if the child is ill, just do some healingwork and forget about hospital. I remember that one of the children I took care of wanted to have healing, and healing and healing, obviously the pain didnt go away. Just thinkt how fearful it might be for the children to be afraid of a ghost and the parent of grown ups around them dont comfort them and say there is nothing. I remember when I was a child I used to think that the carlights hiting the walls inside my room was ghosts, so there is a simple reason behind, as a child I didnt understand that it was the car lights that hit the walls and went aroung. Still I was not afraid of ghosts, because my parents told me there was no ghosts. So I keept woundering what it was going on.
Another thing is that the children didnt get socialised, wich is very important. Also lack of education and sleep. Being around SRF there is no possibility for homework to be done, and school is not seen as important. I remember the leaders was against education, it destroies your psycic development according to them, but I think the stupider you get the better for them.

I have a family

2010-05-03T20:58:00.000-07:00

Mabye they didnt understand, mabye they thought that I just came from nowhere, is seemed like it. I have parents, and yes they are divorced, my father drinks and my mother is not well. Im a very independent person, and I was a grown up at eighteen years old, still I ended up ín that cult. For them, you are just a person who droppes in.
Being a normal Swedish person Im very independent, so what, South european people are not, they live with their parents until they get married. Italian men get feed by their mother and when they are to be married, their mother teach the wife how her son is to be taken care of like a giant baby. In south Europe a man can kill his wife if she is unfaithful and get away with it. In Greece the wimen my age has no teeth and they walk in their rubberboots in small groups with other wimen to work as cleaning ladies in the big hotels, while thier husbands sit in the bar and tries to pic up beutiful swedish woman who is a drunk polish woman with blonded hair. Big ugly flies fly around in the smell of fried food and wild dogs run around. So thats Europe. Different storkes for different folkes.
I know a loot of people dislike the fact that a young woman travels around alone. But thats what its like in Sweden, wimen too travel. I know that some U.S. wimen too are independent and travel, the sublet I rented close to Golden Gate Park, I rented from a woman who was going to travel to Europe.
What people here dont like about that you go to the U.S. is that some socialist hillie billies here, that work in the gouvernment office thinks that you make a lot of dollars that you collect and put in an account in Schwizerland. I actually was beaten here because they thought that I had a lot of dollars abroad in a bank, wich anyone that have been to SRF would understand that I have not. Like most of the people that have left that place they know that you leave totally wasted, without no money at all I guess that is what is called a growht period.
Angie told me that Linda left, after having stealing back about five hundered dollars from SRF, according to Bill. But that was after having lost her husband and home to the cult and standing on the street with tree children. I know Rev. Angela helped her to get some welfare aid during the time I was still around. Big orange cheese( In my country cheese is yellow) and some other foods, we all got feed for a couple of days.
Sometimes I feelt it was the leaders own anger that they would take out on their students, bitterness from an unsucsessful life full of troubles. In my opinion that doesnt solve a thing, to breake down others doesnt make you heal.
I still belive that was goes around comes around.

Not a normal family gathering

2010-04-15T23:35:00.000-07:00

One day a woman sat on the stair in the back of the big house of Ellsworth. This woman I had never seen before. She had read hair and she didnt look like if she belonged to the Spiritual rights foundation. She looked more dejected than what the ministers and students at that place did. Most of the ministers and students were somewhat snobbs in their own wierd fashionable way.
I think that I asked Angie, who is that? -That is Bills sister she said. The woman was not paid attention at at all. No coffe or the, no cinnamon buns or not even a doughnut was she offered. Bill just did what he used to do that weekend, he preaced his weird message to his disaples at churchservice.
In my family when we met family members that we have not seen for some time, we at least offer coffe and some cake, I think most people do, but at SRF there is no welcome. Relatives are to be cut of, cut the cord to them, they invade your space. I just wish sometimes that I had seen anything else than different kinds of misery ion bay area. It would be much better to live in the shelters than to be a member of one of those psycic shools.

Irritated

2010-04-13T15:49:00.000-07:00

One more night of not being able to sleep, wich is something that I really would need to do with a big load of schoolwork and duties that I have to talk care of. Yes Im irritated, at my family. There have been family troubles for years and years, even before I went to the states and became involved with that SRF family. Yes troubles, SRF and those cults always say that a person that left had personal problems. I can tell you that all people that go to a cult have problems, thats what they offerd to help you with in the first place wasnt it. For me I tought that when one is grown up one moves away from home, but no, doesnt seem like it. Seems like you go somewere to work and get sucked and then back home. And home what is that? Like in Fred Flintsone, home sweet home. I wouldnt think so, in my opinion, if you work you should get enought money to support yourself, to get a home of your own. The thing is you dont have to have a big home at first, just a small apartment of a room at least.
Then another thing that I have lerned, if they say that you have problems or family problems or any other problem and thats whats wrong with you, -Great, every family has a problem, families without problems hardly exist.
The one having most problems at SRF is clearly the leaders, why would they otherwise pull a scam on people, why dont they earn money in an honest way? Whay did the family I workes for change names? I belive it is because they have done so much shit that they have to in order not to get into big troubles themselves being afraid to be recognized. It seems like if they have done it again, changed names, because I dont know what happend to them, they wanished.

Swedish springtime

2010-04-12T11:34:00.000-07:00

Springtime here and loads of homework. Now Im learning American and Brittish history, very interesting. I just wich that I learned more when I was in the States. It is not so difficult to learn, its just that its a lot in a short amount of time. The garbage of New age, meditation, chackras and incarnation seems just like a real waste of time in comperision of being a real student. In the same amount of time that I spent in this stupid teaching I could take a masters degree in English. I must say that real studies are far more interesting and rewarding. Real studies will give you a good pay check afterwards, while studies in a cult will give you various of probelms.

Not trusting your emotions?

2010-03-28T19:15:00.000-07:00

Oh so you have been to a psycic school. If you have mabye you will not any longer trust yourself and your emotions. This is one of the things that has taken me years to heal after having been "healed" by SRF. Having that dirty old man, Bill screaming and shouting at me about myself and what I am and what I feel, supposed to know it all, I didnt know or understand myself any longer. He talked a lot of invalidation, if anyone did invaldiate it was him, Bill.
All those things that I learned was nonsens, that just keept my mind puzzled for years and invalidation that made me insecure of my self for many years. Very little did I learn that I had any use of at all.
I think that the only thing I learned was not to trust people, but mostly that was not to my andvantage. Also I learned to misbehave, wich I have done a lot of afterwards, wich might not be so bad in my country, where civilian obediance can be creative at times actually. In anycase for me I have lost quite a lot from having been in that teaching and in most cases civilian obediance is not beneficial, I would say that in California its not.
Having meet another psycic here in my homecountry I have been told that those people in Berkely was mostly looking for earning money, and mabye not so skilled, a psycic guy from Chile told me. I asked, but why did I like to be over at the US?, He said that I was very much like those people in bay area, and this is what I feelt too, I feelt very much at home in the bay area and it has taken many years to adjust to be back in Sweden. I have so much information about what things are supposed to be like, and it is like this in the bay, but not here, where I live. My lifstyle I would say is very different from ordinary Swedes. Still I think that I will continue living here in Sweden. Later I might move to Lund, a student city here in Sweden, its a little bit like Berkely. I like to live in a University town and feel I have so many opporturnities to develop, in a better way than earlier. Im not anymore involved in New age at all, I left that crap about 11 years ago, having worked in health resort for years as well. Some of the new age was good, but most of it was just flum. A lot of new age destroyes you emotionally, leaders want to mess up your emotional life, because then they can take controul of you and the group, then they can use you. Free sex within a group and polygamist relationships is a way for the leaders to actually keep people in a group, when they have ties to several partners its more difficult for them to leave. Or if they breake a marriage and have people relate to new partners its difficult to leave if you have children with the earlier partner. This is what cults do and SRF does. This is what happend in Jonestown as well as in many other cults and new age groups. When things get bad, you stay, because you are snared into the group as well, it was plesant at first, but when things get more difficult its not nice any more, but then you realize that you are stuck.

How crazy was I?

2010-03-28T09:38:00.000-07:00

Did I think that that was a lifstyle, having siple jobs going to SRF and wanting to take the yearclass, whit all the demans comming with it? I dont know. Now looking back I dont know what to say, of course thats the wrong thing to do, but I was young and I had confidence in that this would be a proper education, I had confidence that it wouldnt be harmful or it wouldnt be allowd. But thats not true, cults are big problems to society and government often has to investigate them. Being older, going to a cult like that I think you have loose your mind. If you are married to smomeone who goes to a cult you have the right to file for divorce, and that might be the best thing to do before something really bad happends. I wouldnt trust a partner going to SRF getting healing and starting to enjoy free sex with different other members at that place. Lots of member there came there to get healing in the first place for all their deseases that they have, then you can emagine. Or you get ripped of. The people I worked for didnt give me enought pay, and I guess they have decided to wait till next lifetime for that. Can you accept being payed back in next liftime, you have to have a strong belife in that case. You can get used, because you used others in a previous life, how about that.
In Christian belife there is no such thing as pastlifes and next lifetime, not in that sense anyway. There is no reincarnation, ask a real minister of a decent church. If you hestiate, why not call Swedenborg church up and ask them, I have heard that they are big in Pennsylvania.

Why did I join?

2010-03-25T21:08:00.000-07:00

I think it was because I had heard that Meditation is good for ones health and can help cure you from illnesses. Since I crohns deasease I thought that it would help me get better. Meditation doesent help from anyting else than stress I think. Sure it can help for some problems a little. Something that I think helped is that when you start taking classes you also sometimes change your lifstyle. But i can tell that in SRF and those other schools you will get worn out. Initially you might feel better, but slowly you decline after a while.
To stay awake at night time is very bad for ones health, here they have done reserch on people that work at night time and more of them get ill with cancer. In SRF they mean that if you meditate you dont need so much sleep. I dont think thats true, they say so in all cults and sects and I belive that it is because they want their members to work and spend time at the cult.
If I meditate and I get extra time, I would like to use it for my benefit, dont I?
But most people at SRF use that time there, so whats the point. For people that have children wouldnt it be nice to have extre time with them? But no, people at those cults dont hardly get any time with their children or family at all.

I dreamt a dream!

2010-03-21T01:41:00.000-07:00

Last night I dreamt that Mr President Obama had found out, and that he had taken some people that I used to know in the US and put them i jail.
I was surprised, but tought it was right anywhay, even though I dont like to know gangsters. Im sorry to wake up to realize that it was only a dream. But sometimes dreams are true, will see. Since cults are more dangeouros it would be good if many of them were scrutinized and stopped. Mabye it is stupid even to scrutinize a cult because it can change very rapidly. Sects are religious groups that have existed for some time and have many followers and groups, like the Jehowas wittnesses or church of Mormon. In my country the Catholic church is considered a Sect, since it is not well established here, we are a Protestant country and Islam is our secound biggest religion. A Cult on the countrary is a smaller group that has not been there for very long time. Cults can become dangeorous for the society around them. If they isolate themselfes like in SRF and similar cults its time to start to take notice about that cult, it´s a sign that things are not right.
If they start collecting weapons or if there is suspision that children are being abused, the gouvernment has to start to do something about it. As I see it, the gouvernment should investigate SRF, and mabye they already do. As for the moment SRF might not be so dangeourous to the sosiety, but anytime a new crazy leader can develop in that cult, getting visions and start to make big trouble. It has happend before, many times.
SRF, being hostile towards society and against a lot of things, seeing realtives, gouvernment, educated people, and docktors as bad people, I guess anything can happen there. Also are they isolated, members not able to be connected to others to rely on but the ministers there. For now the biggest danger is for members not getting medical attention, and their children also wich dont even get proper education either. But other issues can start to emerge as well. ll To me it seems that Bill wanted to make some sort of impact in his own weiry way, sending the year students to wach San Fransisco airport for hours, I think even one night, to write reports about what they had noticed for him. What was he up to. I dont know what Bills education was, and what he could have acomplished and what he wanted to do. For me its only wierd. I know they did a lot of strange things and that some people got very menally ill and had to leave because they had "problems" that they didnt have when they started theri education at SRF. I think actually that the leaders did brake those people down that didnt agree with them or that were to strong to manipulate. They realy knew how to mentally abuse someone, they were god at it.
Then they would say that it was spirits and that the person had a lot of spiritual problems.

Rev Bill "the healer"

2010-03-18T19:17:00.000-07:00

Having been at the academy for some time and around you would know that Big Rev had false teeth. I dont understand what all the wimen that was interested in him saw there. Rev. Bill was a heavy smoker like many others at the academy. You could se that he did not take particilary care of his health.
For me to be cheated on ones health is very serious, I have crohns desease and I can get very ill, like many others that seek healing and to get well. Many at the SRF were heavy smokers and not healty at all. The scam was that through healing and meditation you would get well, the spirit would heal the body, -well it never did. For me I got more ill, they were not right.
If you want to get well from an illness you can find better ways that being at the academy of psycic studies.

The Cult

2010-03-15T00:16:00.001-07:00

Here in Sweden we also have this cult, a branch of it. Ministers having left SRF did copy them in order to earn money. The family I worked for did copy them after having been thrown out of SRF.
This branch is called "Energy focus" and this is ther webbsite http://www.energifokus.com/ so for everyone living in Sweden its just to read all the bloggs about SRF, the mother organisation were the teaching comes from in the first place.
I dont know about the aurapictures, my friend says its a filter in the camera, but I think that its real, but in my opinion it should be better to take care of ones health and have enought sleep in order to have a great aura. And why bother so much with it?, its like being obsessed with ones hair or something else that is just there. An aura is not visible for most people anyway so why would it matter if its green or purple. I dont even know if it exist, but i have seen a sience program long time ago about it, not quite the same though

Grewing up

2010-03-10T05:49:00.000-08:00

I did grew up in a quite rich area outside Stockholm the capital of Sweden and its also the largest town with about 2 million people now a days.
My parents divorced when I was 13 yrs old, and I stayed with my father in our neighbourhood. My dad later had some relationships whit different women. One stayed with us from I was 14 yeas until I was 18 and left home.
Anita, my dads girlfriend, worked with fashion, she was a big boss in a company named H&M, its a cheap fashion chain that have a lot of stores here in Sweden and in Europe. Anita was not so nice, she was a little like Joan Crawford in "Mommie dearest". She would have terrible outbursts and scream and shout at me. I coudnt do anything, she was an important person and was not to be disturbed. During these years we had to diet, she had to be slim and fit for her job, as Eurpean fashion is made up by men who dont like wimen as I woud say now a days getting more astute, they just dont allow wimen to have food. Anywhay Anita used to say to me that I was fat, just to fat. In my teenage years I didnt know, but today I know that I was far to thin.
When I came to SRF i started to loose weight and I was happy about it since I considered myself to fat. It was a high price though I was starving, and lost a lot of weight whitout even having any at all exercise.
When I came back to Sweden I was about 55 kg and I m supposed to be about 74 kg according to my height.
After this I also turned ill in my intestines and had to have surgery and lost some more kg. Since I had catched lice at my attemt of leaving SRF I had to shave my head in order to get rid of them. Lack of nutrision, illness, loosing weight and a cold winter here when I came back made me look awful. I got a new passport. I had to stay in a fosterhome for some time because of my parents being upset with me, my foster sister saw my passport and laughed, It looks like if you have been to Bergen-Belsen she remarked.

CV and background

2010-03-09T17:10:00.000-08:00

One day you might want to have a serious job, to go to, a decent workplace. Then, having spent years in SRF without real papers they might not want you. SRF or any other psycic education will be a scribble in your background just like the picture abowe. employees will not hire you, they will think that you are crazy. People have seen a lot on TV and they dont want anyting odd in their workplace.
For you remains doing tarotreadings in the street in the worst case or to go and live of your relatives, if they will take you in after all they have experienced in the past.
Or you can get lucky and open up your own school of psycic education. You the become a scam, ok if you like it, im sure the US need more of them, what do you think?
To cheat others that they should brake with their families and stop going to doctors and dentists, what a decent person you are. You can make money out of this, yes.
To morrow Im going to throw out a lot of third hand, secound hand and old sales bargains that have aircondition, they are not even fit to make rags of. My bathingsuit I threw yesturday, it was about ten years old and I had to get a new one in order not to get cauht for vexation at the public pool. This is ok, Im still poor after been in SRF and after getting more ill than ever and after working my ass off not having vacation for then years. This is what will happen to a lot of people that go to those schools, because they dont give you anything, they just take.

I cannot sleep again

2010-03-07T20:22:00.000-08:00

Its not the first night in my life without sleep, like for everyone else that have been connected to SRF for instance. I have stomach ace and that is not the first time eather since I have crohns desease, somehting I thought meditation would heal me from, wich it of course didnt, it became worse tho stay at SRF whit all the smoking and tobacco around and no sleep or going outdoors or doing anything thats good for ones health actually.
If one wants to get healed from an illness like mine or any illness this is the recipy.
1. Eat healthy food and enought food.
2. Go outdoors and get fresh air for at least 30 minutes a day.
3. Dont smoke, or live whit somone who does, smoking is very very dangeourus for heatlh.
4. Have some light therapy every now and then.
5. Take out fillings if you have fillings in your mouth with mercury in them, the gray ones and change it to cheramics och platic composit.
6. Do intestinal cleansing.
7. Clean you body every now and then.
8. Keep good company and friends.
9. Read books, see a nice movie, go to art exhibitoins
10. Have a healthy spirituality, not one that makes you brake with your family or frinds.
11. Do some exercice.
12. Sleep well, at least 8 hours every night, if you miss some catch up the next night or in the weekend if you had a busy week.
13. Dont keep to much electronic device in your bedroom, it stresses the body.
14. Get a job that you like.
15. Try to keep friends with your family.
Some of this is basic and not even mentioned in those psycic institutes. I read the bible sometimes and I get so supriced that SRF uses words from the bible at their church service when the teaching is going against the bible. SRF wants to make people break with thier and make enemies whit everybody. In the bible says "dont let the sun go down on you anger" meaning, make up with people before the day is over and before you go to bed. I might not have the correct words since my bible is in Swedish and its my own translation, but my interpretation on the bible would probably be the same.
Take my free recipy and go in with your life if you consider to joing SRF for healing. You will save you your health and a lot of money too. To get healed takes time, Im still working on it, and I can tell you SRF was a big misstake and waste of time.

eating an elephant

2010-03-04T00:52:00.000-08:00

I once seeked help for my problems on a christian helpline in Sweden. I need healp because problems seems to pile themselfes on each other. So many people did use and take advantage of me. I used to be the one that had to take the blame for it as well. Being called a problem person it was becoming to much for me to cope with.
The woman i talked to said you have to deal with your problems and do something about them. - Do you know how one eats and elephant?, she asked me. No I said. She said, -You take one bite at the time. So this is what Im doing every day in my life, I deal with one problem, at a time and this blog is just a small bite of dealing with old problems and turning them right. Afte having been used, gotten ill, and being blamed for it, Im telling about it, Im finding out the trouth bit by bit why it happend and Im telling. I think that if you dont deal with it you will feel very bad and it will not be easy to go on with you life.
For instance why did so many bad things happend to me? was it my own fault? Id say no, things happend because I didnt have so much support from home, growing up in a divorce home and my dad being an alkoholic. I got ill and I couldt finnsh my education. Of course I was an easy victim for just about any parasite that came along. In many jobs I have had I didnt get paid in the end. In many relationships I was used and suffered. I have been to several cults and sects, but not really a leading figure. Many that offers healing and personal improvement since Im such a undevelpoed person. Since it is me that is wrong I did go to a lot of classes and teraphy in new age and most of it bogus. I guess I just get tired of it. Now Staing in the small village where Im in contact also with one of my relitives who has studied filosofy, psyckology, astrology and atrophosphy a lot and that I discuss a lot with, I have realized that mabye one should not train to be pleasant, one should train to become a bitch intsead. This works better and I realise how I hav before been a victimtype rather than a person who is something wrong with.
My load of problems, which actually other persons put on me I have to deal with, and I do. I hope you all do to.

Migrens

2010-02-24T22:19:00.000-08:00

Yesturday i did listen to the file of Churchservice from SRF and the rest of the day I spent in bed with a bad headace and throwing up several times. I think it was the reminder of SRF churchservice and the falseness that hit me.
In SRF churchservice they seem like very simple, good people that wants to promote you. Hearing that man, say that Bill helped him to realize that he havnt done anyting that he really wanted to do in his life was awful, because they have been saying this to people for years and years. Of course people react, what have they missed.
In my life there are many thins that I want to do, and I have to maker prioroties of wich of them I can do. Later many of the things I choose away seems like stupid anyway so most of the time i dont regret myself. But SRF make people insecure, did I miss something important? Well I think anyway that this is a scam behavior that they have, they lure people that they do a reading and always its their family that stand in their way of develpment.
I think that everybody that are interested in SRF should go to a library and borrow some books about cults and sekts. I know that in Berkely you have several nice bookstores where you can get real good paperback as well for a small amont of money.There is one good book to read in the picture that i put. Study sect and cults for some weeks, it might save you your house, job, famliy ane healt for the rest of your life. I just dont know what else to say.
I have been to one of the best theraphists in Sweden, hes a New Yorker of course, this country dont grow any proffesionals of that kind. He anyway did tell me that most cults or sekts have some good stuff, like holistic healt or something else that makes people interested. Of course, nobody would take an interest if there werent anything sensible too to get interested in in the first place, but the trouth is that in the end its going to break you down.
In my opinion sekts take your life slowly, by poisning your mind. It was awful to hear this cult sit and recite the bible and mix it with their teaching, their scam

Snow in northern Europe

2010-02-19T22:49:00.000-08:00

Just want to show you what it is like here in Sweden now. This night it has fallen even more snow, so I dont know if Im going to be alble to go to the store to get some eatables that i need. Great that I have beens at home. We have not had a winter lik this in Sweden since the 40ties. There have been a lot of car accidents and also the train traffic is not funktioning so well right now. This situation reminds me a little of being at Ellsworht street working, and I guess for the elderly people it reminds them of times of war in Europe, when you take what you have got and make dinner. One of my forefathers was convict of war in Siberia long time ago as a soldier fighting a war against the russians. He remained in Siberia for 13 years before he was sent back to Sweden. Considering our winters I guess it might not have been a great deal for him. Most of my forefathers were soldiers that fought war for the crown, lol, and I guess Im not a person to make probelms to as well, considering my heritage and experiences

Wow

2010-02-14T02:17:00.000-08:00

Sweden too has a rash of new age and spiritism over it. Some days ago a there was a big debate on tv about it. The mediums have really taken a shit in the blue cabinette as we say here in Sweden when someone has made a big misstake. The TV-show called one woman up because they had meet a gost that they thought were her deasesed daughter. This woman has lost two daugthers and has not at all asked to be in contact with a medium or wanted anything to do with it. This mediums just take for granted that people would like to hear their stories and that they share the same belife. As a matter of fact, if you are a christian or in any other religion you are not supposed to take contact with spirirts or the dead. This is told over and over again in the holy scriptures. It is also said that its no good to look for sings or do fortuntellings as well. All this things are done in New Age as well as beliving in old egyptians gods that were already beaten by Moses in the bible. This means that in new age there is obeyance to other gods that are not approved in christianity at least.
I belive today that you are supposed to let the dead rest in peace, and take care of the living. Stay on the planet and do what people are supposed to do here. Dont look to much into the stars and dont sit and fantasize about life on other planets, to me its a waste of time. There are a lot of things that happens here on the planet to deal with.
Now I have to take care of my homework in English. I hope that people take care of themselves and get some serios things to do, instead of looking for ghosts or little green men.

What do satanists do?

2010-02-09T15:15:00.000-08:00

They belive in spiritism, and they like to kill animals, guess why?
They want the spirit of the animal to be in their service, to use their spirit as a guide for them. They can also kill people, youn people that havn´t developed a will of their own yet, so they will easier obey. This is another way to be a spritualist, close to the same kind of teaching as in SRF. But in SRF the healing guides are already dead so you dont have to kill them, you just call for them and they come along and help you do healings. They can also heal yourself. The healingspririts stand there automatically ten steps behind you and are far more developed than a person that are incarnated. You might have had a past life together with your guide, mabye even on a different planet. You healing guides can become nasty and you can have problems that need extra attention from the SRF ministers, and guess what? -When you are going to die your healingguides goes away. This means that if you get a reading and the ministers see that your guides are gone then you are in troule, soon the grave is waiting for you. unless you do something extreme about it. This almost never happends to a person, but if it does, what does the ministers recommend for a sulotion?

2010-02-07T03:17:00.000-08:00

Charlie Manson, the leader of a Cult, you can watch him on U-toube. He was also a crazy cult leader. But why did his cult go so far that they became murderers? Well some cults do. The reason might be that a cult have many instable persons and those who start cults are not serious people. Sometimes it can be a nice sect, that have ben functional for years, but then a crazy leader comes along, and start to make a lot of new arrangements in the name of the lord. Of course you ate not aloud to question such a leader. You have to have blind faith when he starts to mess with your life, its all for a good cause. The leader will divide people and send of those who are a threat to his intetions. You might want to read Machiawelli, there you might get some ideas about how such a leader leads.
The Manons cult was just a cult like any other, but it went more and more crazy. When i watch him on U-toube I can see siminarities with Bill when he was at his most crasy moods. I think just a couple of more ministers like Bill at SRF and there would have been a catasrophy like in the Mansons or peoples temple.
One of the things I dont understand is how wimen in the SRF could love Bill, I know I just found him looking like a pruned up, agressiv old man, I was interested in the teaching thoug. I did hear that Bill, big rev. had said to some other members that he thougth that I was falling for him, well in his dreams, man. Do elephants fly?

Happy!

2010-02-03T01:36:00.000-08:00

Oh my good. Going to my studies at a real university, Im I glad Im not in California at SRF right now. It was long time since and I did get really ill. My illnes, Chrons deases stopped me from being a minister I think. Sometimers an illness can be a blessing I have learned.
I feel so sorry for those who are lured into that teaching. You must understand that the ministers at this school take advantage of all your bad situations and make up a story from it.
There are ways to get well, happy and prosperious whitout the SRF, which actually makes you sick, unhappy and poor instead, like all sekts and cults do.
I would recomend trying to get into a ususal university, but if you cant do that. Take an ordinary job and read a lot of books on economy and find good ways to invest your money. One of the best things to invest money in is to buy yourself a home, because you can live in it as it in most cases generate money.
Another good thing to invest in is ones health, because it is what makes you strong enought to work and make good decisions. Eat healty food, go to som body therapy, take care of your teeth and do some exercise. Things like this cults almost always miss, you dont even get the basic needs like enough sleep. Also something that´s important is healthy relations, avoid people that use drugs or that stresses you.
Socialise with positive healthy people that are foreward, people that share the same interests like you.
Also take care of your family relations, you might regret yourself later if you dont. At SRF we learned to break with family, and we learned that they are not good for us. After some time in SRF they dont really matter to us at all, the minsters that are devine do. You end up in their claws so to say, and do you think that these smoke smelling bastards care more about you than you own parents? I can tell you no, even thoug we might disagree with our old parents they care about us far more than the ministers at SRF. When we get ill after having spent time at SRF, when they no longer can suck our blood, then you get sent home to mama and papa to take care of you, or you will find yourself in the gutter, as a big looser.

Swedenborg church

2010-01-23T23:24:00.000-08:00

I went to se the inside of the church this time in Stockholm, I have been here once before long time ago. This is a small church wich have about 200 members in Sweden. Its a christian church. There is no belife in reincarnation and marriage is taken seriously.
Swedenborg did warn about spritism and spirits that you can meet at trance and seans. He said that they just wanted to cheat and mislead people. So I dont se the connection with Bills teaching at all. This I think shows a lot about that rev Bill didnt actually know what he was talking about, mabye he had aspbergers deasease.

If anyone have a question about anyting you can e-mail to the reverend at pastor.appelgren@nyakyrkan.se

2010-01-23T23:21:00.000-08:00

Swedenborg church from the other direktion. You can see the entrance from here. On the picture is the woman that takes care of the church. They have church service on sundays and its open a couple of hours on wednesday evenings as well.

New trip

2010-01-02T03:07:00.001-08:00

Soon ill be going to Stockholm again. I hope I can stop by Swedenborg church again when its open so I can make video from inside. Its only open in Wednesday evening though its a small church. Swedenborgh church is not at all something that we talk about here in Sweden, not even locally in Stockholm, have I ever heard of it. It was first when I came to SRF, that rev. Bill talked about this great spiritualist, Emmanuel Swedenborg. I think Bill thought I was stupid to not have heard of such a big person, when I come from the area, but as I have told, almost no one here have heard about him, only those old fellows going to that church. I know that they have a quire, so that one of the reasons that people are at this church.

Cant sleep

2010-01-01T17:59:00.000-08:00

Its tree a clock in the morning and I can not sleep. I have had some nasty dreams now for a couple of nights. Dreams about betrayal, deceit and necrophilia. This night I just couldnt sleep, but I think it might be because I took a late cup of the also. Just awful dreams comes to me.
It doesent matter I have an apartment and a bed to sleep in, so Im quite well off. Later I have to go out to do my faboulous work distributing commercial papers, at the amazing pay of 50 a month.
I guess I will have to sleep at daytime and I will miss some of my studies, so I have more work later on.
There is no reason to complain at life, now a days there are so many opportuntities for people to reach sucsess and there is so much knowledge. We face big problems in the world, but we also have all these wounderful opporturnities to create our lifes in a god way if we please. I think that cults and sekts are out of time, people can handle their lifes by themselves and they dont need a leader to tell them what to do to improve. You can easily improve by yourself, and you also have big oppoturnities to screw yoursel up if you want to do that by yourself as well.

Amazing jealousy!

2010-01-01T02:05:00.000-08:00

That complains about being treaten badly or taken advantage of, is often explained as jealousy. This is what people think at SRF as well. They think that I and others are jeolous of their sucsess.
For me its many years since I was there and I have a totally different life and different goals today. Im happy with my goals to get a masters degree to start with at the University. I m not interested in being a psycic, no I put that on the shelf years ago. By the way, I did have years of new age in Sweden before going to university. I did take reiki healing classes and I did tarot classes, I even had a gypsy friend that was a medium teaching me how to read tarot and have cermonies, and I think she was a real medium compared to those people in SRF. Also I became a great tarot card reader, but I dont do those things anymore. I have also read Astrology since I was 13 years old, and I could tell a persons sunsign without someone telling me. I did take classes in rebirhting and also hypnosis here in Sweden. However it does cost money, and do I want to spend time and money on the occult,- No! not really, all of this was just a waste of time. For me when I was young there was no noting for me, and this was my hobbies. But now there is a possibility of having a real education, one must be stupid to think that I would sacrifice that to be a medium or a tarot card player. I dont even understand how anybody could have such an opinion.
For me when I was younger i did know this woman, Cathy that was a sexabuser, and she did always think that I was jealous of her. She did have sex with anybody that wanted to, amost. So she thought that I would be jeolous of her because she got laid, when in fact I did feel ashamed being associated with her, as a friend. She did think that I was a nerd that couldt get picked up by a guy, but those guys that she was together with I would call social misfits and drugaddicts. Seriously, she didnt have real realationships and didnt care. I just tought it all was disgusting, having grown up with a friend whos mother was a gynokologist I know what kind of bacterias and microbs she was having in her body after having porked around like a rat in the gutter. Guys like truckdrivers and junkyardworkers might belive her. Same with SRF.
They dont have a clue, about a real life. They dont have a true knowledge about reality, they dont have a real education.
For me today I can reach my goals, and Im happy about it. Things that have been a problem in my life i can write about on my blogs, which I have. I have already written about sects and cults in my Swedish blog years before writing this blogg in english, since swedish is my language. I have warned people about traps out there to be fallen in. Traps that take your time money and engery, that you need for more important things. I dont belive for one secound that you cant become sucsessful, but one thing is true, that dont come with going to any cult.

New year

2009-12-31T02:54:00.000-08:00

I wish you all a good start on the new year
and I hope that more awareness about cults and sects will arise this comming year.
I dont remember celebrating new years at SRF, mabye I did have time off or they didnt celebrate it.
Here in Sweden they do celebrate new years with fireworks and parties and champagne. But this year there is no partying for me, I just live in a small village and I dont know so many people here. Those I know are ill, One friend has MS and my secound cousin has cancer, so thats that, life is not always fun.
Anyway, Im still goint to see all the fireworks that are sent from the factory. We have the largest paperfactory in Skandinavia here in this small village. It loks lika a nuclear powerplant, and it keeps me amused, someone called it Tjernobyl, because it looks like it.
This coming year Im studying english, its going to be fun, I like english language and need to learn more. More plans than that I have not done.
Since I have stopped beliving in Astrology and all of that i cant really say anything about that. I just did put all that occult stuff on the shelf, and took university classes instead, today I dont even waste time on waching sience fiction on tv, no. My time is spent on reading books relevant for Studies in university, thats all.

Factors

2009-12-23T23:30:00.000-08:00

There are different factors that makes you join a cult. For me it was that some of my friends started to use drugs, and I culdnt do anything about it. I couldnt tell their parents, because I know them and they wouldnt belive me, I was kind of the skapegoat for everyting bad, so there was no possibilities for me. I didnt want to live that kind of life. I did try pot a couple of times but I didnt like the feeling and decided that a life with drugs was nothing for me. One of my friends had a very influential family and my other friend did have a boyfriend in the drugcartell. So this friend that was in the drugcartell did come to SRF to visit me a lot. I didnt like her, but everybody seem to like her and she used to come around where ever I went to get popular. She was very much for sex and that might be a reason she liked criminal guys that did a lot of drugs and stuff like that. For me it was not so nice, because I didnt like her criminal gang, selling cocaine at a small motell south of San Fransico. I was there once and meet the San Fransico leader of the drugcartell. Also the "big king" came one night, I guess the leader for Californa. I had to stay awake and almost got no sleep at the few weekends that I was off. I did want to get rid of this so called friend Cathy, but I gave up, Rev Michael Anast liked her, so what could I do. Finally her boyfriend died, falling from house that he was supposed to paint. So Cathy went home, back to Sweden. I was happy, that did solve a lot of problems for me.
I guess that except for having to work amost all the time and not getting payed this is what almost broke me. I did take classes at SRF and I did try to join the new school that Michael, Janis and Linda opend. If there had been other opertunities I had been lucky, but I didnt see any at the time.
For me there was a boring time, I had wanted to get other things out of my free time than staying around the drugcartell people. I have other intersts and hobbies. Also the guys in the drugcartell was pestering me about wanting sex, since they probably thought that since Cathy know me I was the same as her. Well for Cathy sex was her hobby, for me I just thougt she was sick. I have other hobbies. In this process I didnt have much of a chance to learn to know decent people at my stay in the Bay area.

Merry Crhistmas!

2009-12-23T11:05:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
to all cult survivors.

Psycic education

2009-12-21T23:57:00.000-08:00

Well if you think that the schools in Berkely can teach you to become a psycic you´re totally wrong. These schools are nothing else but cults and they will strip you of everything you have. When you leave you wont have money or health leaft. You will stand on the street looking like a dickhead. Be careful, there are plenty of these schools now, not only in Berkely, were they started. Many people have been to these schools have suffered a lot for many years afterward as well. These schools makes you either a social misfit or just another scam that will cheat people for money like themselves.
Why are they psycic schools? because so many people find it exiting and also its popular right now. Also all the secrets around it is very beneficial fo a cheating leader of course. I have already rewiled some of the things that SRF and Berkely psycic Institute does. These belong to Church of Devine Man. I hope for others that consider to join that they will read my blogg first and think about it. I have made an easy blogg to read and if there is not enough there are other blogs as well to read about this subject.
I feel sorry for those who have lost a relative to these cults, and I dont know what to say, exept for telling about whats going on there so they will know, since people that have joined dont want to talk about their "Secret teaching" and dont want to keep conatct any more.
I hope gouvernment will put their eyes on these cults, though some of the activities that they do with children is not ok, and that the law permits for gouvernment to investigate and scrutinize them. Something I know these cults wouldn`t like of course.

Reasons to tell about it

2009-12-19T11:50:00.001-08:00

I bet they are angry now at Ellsworth street, about my blogg, if they read it. Im not so angry, it was long time ago and other bad things happend in my life too. But anyway one of the reasons I do want to tell about it also is that Im tierd of all secrets that I had to live with for years. One does get tired of it especially if you dont understand why. I resoned whith myself and made up my mind that most of it was secret becaus it was some kind of freud.
Becaus I was so young when I got involved with this scam teaching I also think that it has had a big effect on my life aftewards. It was my first grown up life to be at SRF. To keep secreets and not to reveil things about my own situation because the family I worked for didnt like it. They didnt even like photos to be taken in their home and family, so I dont even have a photo from the time in US at all. I still dont like when people ask me questions and I have problems with athority people, probelms that I dont think that I would have had if I hadnt been tranced by SRF. Those small suggestions they put in you head, lesson after lesson in mediation, it has caused damage in my personallity. Im not an easygoing person, Im very suspisious about people i cant even tell myself any longer, but I know It was easier to deal with others before, after it has been a big problem.
So I dont know exactly why, but I do know that being at SRF I had to hear Bills hatred towards gouvernmental people, doctors, parents and intellectuals. He used to say this is not a teaching for intellectuals. Fine, so you have to be a real dickhead I used to think to myself. Im a person that liked to read a lot, and I wouder why that is not good.
All people there use to want to be like Bill, and the teaching was important. I did learn so many stupid things you cant emagine, I have forgotten half of it, but still I remember a lot. Sure being tranced it did do something to me of course. I dont know if I need special help to get out of this mess it created. Still I try to take it as another experince and add it to my life as somting I have gone through.

Got cured anyone?

2009-12-15T22:39:00.000-08:00

Did anyone got cured from the healings? I know I didnt. I had hoped for to get better, I was told to meditate more and more. It was almost exausthing to even think of meditation. When I left I was told that I had to meditate a lot every day for the rest of my life, otherwise i would die.
I did meditate a lot, but it made me feel like I was going to die, probably because I was supposed to do other stuff to stay alive, like eating healthy food, not smoking and also go out and walk around a little. This are things of no importance for SRF. Also I probably did cach malaria or some other illness at this time, I should have gone to the hospital, but no. Not even when I came home the doctors in my own country realized I had malaria, mabye because they dont look for it , since people dont have it here. Later on I went to a herbal doctor by myself and paind quite a lot. This doctor comes from Australia and knows about herbal medicine from the whole world. He detected parasites in my blod, but didnt tell me it was malaria. I did se a Indian doctor that was here for vacation and talked to him and he told me that it was malaria. He knowed a lot about malaria and told me about it. Fantastic I probably had it for years by that time, anywhay the medication i got from the herbalist helped totally, sometimes these medication is better then going to hospital. It did cost me a lot though.
It is strange how people think about wimen, as soon they get ill, the first thing they think it can be it must be mentally. This happend to me as well. I dont know how many hours I had to spend with psykiatrist and therapists in my own country, because of this. And the trurht about them is that they are totally lost. Years of therapy that cost the taxpayers lots of money and they come up with nothing. Doctors here are really not qualified to do nothing more or less. We are a counrty that have not been in war for a hundred years at least, we dont have a lot of cults and we dont have a lot of different people living togheter, no most people here are christian etnic swedes. So there are not a lot of conflicts and illeness except for people getting cancer and heart attac or they breake some bones in their body also some are shizofrenic or bipolar. Otherwise than that there are no more problems than the ones gouvernment create for people to have problems so that we are dependent on them, this is called socialism. Thats all for now, and think about when you got cured from healing, did you get greath earth vitamins along with it? I know I did when i was really ill, and I sure feelt better the day after, I really like those vitamins they have in the US they really makes you feel better.

A cult

2009-12-15T00:32:00.000-08:00

Most people that take classes at any of the psycic institutes, dont know they are in a cult. Like all cults and sekts leaders explain that they are just a group doing this and that. Go to Hare Krishna, Jehovas vitness or Scientologiests and ask if they are a cult or a sekt, they will tell you the same. - What? A cult? No were a religious group that belives in god or - We are a student group studying the holy skripturers.
There are many cults and sekts, they are religious groups and they do a lot of different things. The Moon organisation for instance have a lot of different names of their church and different activities, so does Hare Krishna too.
Leaving a cult i bet you get quite tierd of beliving, churches and donating money. After a cult one should probably want to do tings more in touch with reality. To take a normal job or to take casses at a university. I feel sorry for those people that lost everything in these cults. I guess being brainwashed and tierd after being awake night after night at classes gives you bad jungement. Actually not getting enough sleep is abuse. Since its abuse, I guess its also being pressured and mabye those who lost a lot should be able to sue them to get some money back. Its not fun having spent years and years there and have spent every penney, leaving all wasted and ill. I dont feel sorry for the leaders, they should have tought about what they have done, they are responsible of what they organize.